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News & For Sale “Where's my Chink? (PART I)” by m1cnBot

 
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m1cnBot 17 years ago on 03/27/05

Story Originally Posted By: Duck

Article PictureI'm a Chinese girl. I'm a very, very bad Chinese girl. I'm pretty sure I don't mean that in the sexy, loli-porn fetish kind of way. Whenever I meet my relatives(which is fortunately, only once every couple of years), they think I am the downfall of the entire Chinese race and accompanying civilization. I don't play any instruments, I don't really speak Chinese, I'm definitely not majoring in a Math/Medicine/Science related field - and god forbid I date an American boy when I've never dated an asian boy, much less a Chinese one. Stereotypical, I know.

My great grandfathers were first generation immigrants to Malaysia, where my extended family now mainly exist. My family, including myself, are first generation immigrants to the United States. I've only lived in the United States for 6 years but I've apparently adapted pretty well, and in the process, become the root of all that is materialistic, imperialist America(note: America has actually never been an imperialist nation, but that's another rant). But really, I'd never really been a "good Chinese girl". I'm not even a good "American" Asian. I'm not involved in the Asian Student Association in my school, I don't have any close Asian friends and while I do drive a Toyota Corolla, the only thing I've ever added to it is brake fluid. I have no AZN PRYDE whatsoever, and while I'm not exactly ashamed of my heritage, I've never really been terribly interested in it.

Anyway, I decided recently that maybe I should start paying the same sort of attention to asian culture that the pasty white otaku boys do. It's pretty embarassing, after all, not not know this stuff. Over the next month or two, I will participate in "asian"-ish activities, attempt to speak chinese again, maybe learn some history, and do more trivial things like roll sushi(this is cheating a little, I already know how to do this), wear a cheongsam and only shop at asian markets. For the sake of things being a bit more interesting, I'm not limiting my experiences to Chinese-related ones, but a decent emphasis will most likely be put on the Chinese and Japanese cultures, just because that's what's most accessible to me.

My first goal of attending more asian related events happened to coincide with an OtakuBooty meetup. The Japan Girls Night Tour was coming by to LA at the King King, and a bunch of OB-ers, including myself, decided to check it out. Keep in mind, this is hardly a review of the night or of the concert - but if you're interested in the journey of a dimunitive Chinese girl slowly rediscovering her chinkiness -- read on!

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TSK 17 years ago on 03/27/05
Equipped: Angel Wings named "Innocent as can be."
I'm sorry...all I got out of that was that a Duck is a bad bad chinese girl.
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Nowhere Man 17 years ago on 03/28/05
Equipped: "Kick Me" Sign named "What's it say?! I can't reach it!"
Warning: cheongsams are insanely comfy. The cloth shoes are too. Oh, dried cuttlefish is frikkin great too. When it comes to asian culture I prefer Chinese over japanese. The History Channel and other channels show a lot of cool shows. hey, maybe you should pick up a traditional chinese martial art?
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PhoenixStar 17 years ago on 03/28/05
Equipped: Naruto Plushie
For Chinese History Duck, do What I did, pass the class thanks to Japanese Video games.
DYNASTY WARRIORS HELP ME GET MY A
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stagewench 17 years ago on 03/28/05
Equipped: Hide (Leopard Hat Ver.) named "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy!"
I need to switch majors...I need more classes where running around butchering people with giant fans while the chick on the screen falls with her butt in the air and makes annoying noises can help me get better grades.

(Dear gods I hated those two characters)
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May the Lord Have Marcy 17 years ago on 03/28/05
Equipped: Hello Kitty Vibrator named "the head irritates the soft tissue, but whatever!"
Very interesting article Duck. Thank you for sharing such an experiance with us =D
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Duck 17 years ago on 03/28/05
Equipped: +3 Vibrating Duck of Doom
"cheongsams are insanely comfy."

Review female and male gender roles in China again, please. Also, try wearing a FEMALE cheongsam.

Stagewench> Haha. I'm takin a wild guess from your name, but I'm actually a theatre major too.

Thanks,guys.=)
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spyrral 17 years ago on 03/28/05
Equipped: Tear-stained Emo Poetry by IronHeart named "Best Item Evar!"
Duck, you rock! That was an awesome article!
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Carmila 17 years ago on 03/28/05
Equipped: Schoolgirl Outfit named "Does it look better on me or on the floor?"
Duck you had me laughing so hard when I read this. The people in the office were looking at this rice queen very quisically.....
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Milkman Danpa 17 years ago on 03/28/05
Equipped: Clue Stick named "the better to penetrate you with my dear"
I dunno, I tend to think the concert made me a worse chink than when I went in. kekeke
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Duck 17 years ago on 03/28/05
Equipped: +3 Vibrating Duck of Doom
Carmila, I should totally interview you for one of my next articles, you rice queen!
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Carmila 17 years ago on 03/29/05
Equipped: Schoolgirl Outfit named "Does it look better on me or on the floor?"
Ha ha, I wouldn't be much of an interesting subject....Thanks for the flattery!
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spyrral 17 years ago on 03/30/05
Equipped: Tear-stained Emo Poetry by IronHeart named "Best Item Evar!"
Duck, I'm eagerly awaiting part 2!
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StColaPop 17 years ago on 03/30/05
Equipped: Icha Icha Paradise
whats part 2 about? cuz if it's making fun of other asian's. im down. yes i have the heart of black coal. KILL ME AND CRY ME A RIVER AND WATCH JOY LUCK CLUB!
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Duck 17 years ago on 03/31/05
Equipped: +3 Vibrating Duck of Doom
We need to go to a club filled with azngurls and write an article. I want to photograph you picking a fight with a couple fobs in chandelier earrings.
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Jester Jade 17 years ago on 03/31/05
Equipped: Hide (Military Outfit) named "Camoflouge is so IN right now"
I would say we need to go to a korean hostess bar, but thats too expensive for me
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Duncan 17 years ago on 03/31/05
Equipped: Espionage Codec named "140.85"
Just lemme know when we can schedule the Bukkake Party.
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StColaPop 17 years ago on 03/31/05
Equipped: Icha Icha Paradise
damn korean bitches. DAMN DAMN DAMN!
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breakaway_republic 17 years ago on 04/03/05
Equipped: Technique scroll: "Stealth Hump" named "Fun With Stealth Shibari"
"I'm a Chinese girl. I'm a very, very bad Chinese girl."

You had my undivided attention in the first 2 sentences, although initially all I saw was
"_____________________ Chinese Girl_____________________. I'm a very, very bad Chinese girl. ______________________ cheongsam____________"
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Jester Jade 17 years ago on 04/04/05
Equipped: Hide (Military Outfit) named "Camoflouge is so IN right now"
God, how many gross rice daddies are there on this site?

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