I'm finally going to see The Avengers.

The shows I bought in April were too small, and today their replacements arrived in the mail!

Today I'm taking Boudicca and Uma's Five Guys virginity!

.....to five guys









.....to chow

Flirted with all the dudes

I completed the Metro Dash today!

I am going to see Regina Spektor tonight!

I got to meet Alys and Doug, see Avengers for the third time, and drive all over town in my new car!

Posting from the new solarium. I wish I didn't offer to take mom out for dinner cause I would be just fine with take out out here. She probably would be too

As I was walking into my apartment building, I overheard part of a conversation being held by a group of early-20s lookin' gangsta kids, but most importantly this nugget spoken by a chick with a mohawk:

"I don't care what she says, ain't nobody gonna sit there all night throwin' ones at her ugly ass. It don't matter how good you work that pole, if you's ugly! I bet her pussy looks like a pile of meatloaf that somebody chewed up and spit out all over her."

As the door to my building closed behind me, I nearly died of laughter.

I ate and drank amazing food all day

- Working in a nice pre-work buzz before I go rock my shift out.
- Updated my Last.fm subscription so I never, ever have to hear The Beatles at work again. I've heard the entire discography about seven times since the start of my employment at the beginning of the month.

Looks like as soon as the paperwork clears I will be working at The Mentor Network, helping disabled people! AND I can dye my hair however I like, that's a HUGE perk for me!!! :D YAY, I have a job!

Saved a drowning child.

Tim said:
Saved a drowning child.

Holy shit, what happened!?

Accidentally went to sleep without an alarm set last night but managed to wake up at 6:30 on the dot.

Got a surprise in the mail which consisted of a set of three Jimmyjane massage oil candles (one of which is bourbon scented).

Finally got the luchador bottle openers that I ordered from work last month.

Had to participate in a 6 hour meeting, but got free lunch out of it.

Found $160 on the street outside my office, and I happen to owe my roommate $20 and Andrew $140.

Booked my Bootycon flight!

Pretty OK Monday!

I just sent out the deposit for my parrot, by the end of the summer I will be an owner of a caique!

My 2 1/2yo niece was in one of those inflatable rings with a saddle in the middle for little kids who can't swim. She leaned really hard to one side and flipped herself upside down in the swimming pool. Her legs were stuck in the vinyl seat and she couldn't get out of it. With super strength and miraculous speed, I jumped after her, righted the wrong, and snatched her from the jaws of death. After she realized she was safe with me, she pleaded in her tiny Cindy Lou Who voice, "Uncle Timmy, I don't want to go to that part of the ocean again."

Diablo 3 unlocks in six minutes

- Found out I got an A in Biology for the semester. (98%!)
- Met a cute girl over the weekend and a mutual friend might be trying to set something up/wingwoman for me. Even if nothing comes of it, I spent part of a night dancing with a pretty girl and that's never bad.
- Made all or part of over 1500 frappuccinos last week at work.
- Met the lead singer of a band I've been into recently, even though I missed there set due to the venue sucking hardcore and misreporting the show start time. Talked with her for a bit, she was incredibly awesome and sweet (not to mention crazy adorable!). She felt bad that I missed them play and took down my name to put me on their guest list for their show in Milwaukee. Sadly, I have to actually work the night of that show, but still a really cool situation regardless.