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Gen. Chat “New Year's Resolutions” by Dr. Moustache

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Dr. Moustache 4 years ago on 12/31/09
Equipped: Three-Headed Monkey named "Look over there! It's a three-headed monkey!"
I haven't heard anything about New Year's resolutions this year in popular media, so I'm curious what all you guys are resolving to do, or if you're even resolving to do anything at all.

I think I remember reading that something like 80% of New Year's resolutions are broken by the end of January, but then again, I also remember reading that 65% of statistics are made up on the spot.

I, for one, am resolving to continue being a dour, argumentative bastard in the coming year. =)
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Flash 4 years ago on 12/31/09
Equipped: Three-Headed Monkey named "Cerberus crossed with the Monkey King"
I think that is a resolution I'd be able to keep!
 
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Nurse Chapel 4 years ago on 12/31/09
I almost made this thread!

I'm trying to be less of a hoarder. I need to throw things away!

This will be relatively easy-ish to keep since once everything I own that I don't need is in the dumpster or goodwill box, it's gone. And with my current income, it will take a good ten years for my stuff to get this cluttered again!
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MistressZelda 4 years ago on 12/31/09
Equipped: Triforce
Get in shape. I've been meaning to for forever, but I feel shitty all the time now. It's time to do it for realsies.

I finished my alt-porn website, so I'm hoping to do good things with that in the coming year

Finish massage therapy school
 
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ShirtNinja 4 years ago on 12/31/09
I'm going to beat Cheetahmen II before 2011 or die trying
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Laurette 4 years ago on 12/31/09
Equipped: Konoha Ninja Forehead Protector named "hahahaha you will never defeat mOW my nose"
clean more
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Devi 4 years ago on 12/31/09
Equipped: Lawn Gnome named "Pablo"
Work out consistantly.

Try more veggies and take my vitamins regularly.

Clean more and, like Space Oddity, hoard less.

Get out more often.
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umaburk 4 years ago on 12/31/09
Equipped: Fire Flower named "joe versus the volcano ... and the hurricane"
cut the cheese with more aplomb, a bit more vim and vigor, and with added audacity and mendacity. in short, fart more than ever. an attainable resolution if there ever was one.

oh, and really, i gotta start going to Mass.
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Nowhere Man 4 years ago on 01/01/10
Equipped: Poke-ball named "Only if Squirtle comes out"
Quit WoW
Take up Kung Fu again
Quit WoW
Lose around 60lbs
Quit WoW
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Devi 4 years ago on 01/01/10
Equipped: Lawn Gnome named "Pablo"
umaburk said:
cut the cheese with more aplomb, a bit more vim and vigor, and with added audacity and mendacity. in short, fart more than ever. an attainable resolution if there ever was one. oh, and really, i gotta start going to Mass.


I say kill two birds with one stone and do both at the same time!
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Peabody 4 years ago on 01/01/10
Equipped: Giant Robot named Peabody
Move back to the USA
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SpeedBrkr 4 years ago on 01/01/10
Equipped: Starman named "I AM INVINCIBLE!!!1!11"
How to achieve your New Year's Resolution in 59 Seconds:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGt_4hRGUnQ
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Party On, Darth 4 years ago on 01/01/10
Equipped: Anti-Fanboy Potion named "Greedo shot first."
Lose weight.
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umaburk 4 years ago on 01/01/10
Equipped: Fire Flower named "joe versus the volcano ... and the hurricane"
Devi, I'm going to 1-Up that, if you don't mind, taking a cue from Starfire.

Start: Kungfu Church Farting.

(Don't worry, I've already faxed Joel Osteen the idea through my proxy.)
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Fievel 4 years ago on 01/01/10
Equipped: Used Panties From kashira named "I found them on my roof"
For only the second time ever, I managed to actually keep a resolution in 2009. I didn't eat at a single "restaurant" with a drive-thru all year long.

This year, I think I'll keep it simple and resolve to lose another 20lbs. by the end of the year.
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marinasaurus rex 4 years ago on 01/01/10
Equipped: Shark With Frickin' Laser named "Raymond"
my roommate and I decided we shall drink only champagne/sparkling white wine or fine beer this year.
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Johnny Landmine 4 years ago on 01/01/10
Equipped: Devo Hat named "Effective non-streaking protection from Space Junk"
I want to concentrate on being more productive with music this year. I thought about giving myself a guideline like setting aside at least an hour a day at least five days out of the week to work, etc. etc., but I know that'd never hold. I would like to have at least an hour of recordings that I wouldn't mind a stranger listening to by the end of the year.
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Amanda 4 years ago on 01/01/10
Equipped: Comfy Pillow
I resolved to only go out for dinner twice a week instead of like, every goddamned day.
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ShawnMcCool 4 years ago on 01/01/10
Equipped: Bukkake Bucket named "Atkins Approved"
Make as much money self employed as I made when I was an employee.
 
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YenRaven 4 years ago on 01/01/10
Learn the Japanese language to at least a conversational level.

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