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Nerd Shit “Mass Effect 3” by Ak

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Allison 5 years ago on 12/14/10
Equipped: The Auryn named "The Neverending Fandom!"
Senator Hideki said:
I just started Mass Effect 2 with my Liara banging male Shepard (my only playthrough). I read ahead to find out if I could screw up romance options and saw a spoiler (note: SPOILER HERE) that if you don't follow through on one of your roman...


SPOILERS....


It's even worse with dumbass Kaiden (and ashley, if you let that bitch live) because he finds out you're alive and instead of rushing into your arms thankful that, you know.. you're ALIVE... he gets pissed that you didn't call him right away. I was totally planning to preserve my romance with him, but after that little encounter, I was like. Screw you I am going to go fuck Garrus.
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Ak 5 years ago on 12/14/10
Equipped: Chicken & Waffles
I am so gay for garrus, he got so much more bad-ass from 1-2.
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Autumnflame 5 years ago on 12/14/10
Equipped: Cockblast of Vengence named "KANEDAAAAAAA"
Garrus = so awesome. I was admittedly kind of "wtf how the hell is that going to work," but it turned out so sweet and awwww.
PS: Also, you could totally tell who it was going to be, but his reveal got me all excited anyway! BADASS.
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CherryBoy 5 years ago on 12/14/10
Equipped: N00dz of Lindze named "Saved for the Spank Bank"
I heart Jack...ummm sexy tattoos
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Ryan the Lion 5 years ago on 12/14/10
Equipped: Radtaculous Glove of POWWWEER named "Knife-proof bionic hand!"
Senator Hideki said:
Although I've heard there's a Tali romance option. How the hell does that work?


Don't listen to Dr. Moustache. The romance option for Tali is solid and really endearing. The only aspect of it that I can see being a let down is that you don't get to see Tali's face or any of those luscious curves.

The lead up between the two is very sweet and I found it to fit very well into the overall backstory between the two characters and the events that pan out in ME2 - specifically during Tali's allegiance missions.
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Dr. Moustache 5 years ago on 12/14/10
Equipped: Cursed Videotape. Seven days starting.... NOW. named "The CockRing"
Zenobia said:
LISTEN TO DR. MOUSTACHE. It's a giant and very effective cocktease FOR NOTHING

LIKE ALL WOMEN


YOU SPEAK THE TRUTH.

YOU WILL BE MY NEW DISCIPLE.
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Ak 5 years ago on 12/14/10
Equipped: Chicken & Waffles
It would be awesome if they really fucked instead of hugging intensely.

Kind of like a rated R movie. But whatevs.

Not relevant is the image below.

Image: 1110x884 JPG, 141KB. Click to view.
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Ryan the Lion 5 years ago on 12/14/10
Equipped: Radtaculous Glove of POWWWEER named "Knife-proof bionic hand!"
Zenobia said:
ORE SPOILERS
Allison said:SPOILERS.... It's even worse with dumbass Kaiden (and ashley, if you let that bitch live) because he finds out you're alive and instead of rushing into your arms thankful that, you know.. you're ALIVE... he gets pissed th...
Dr. Moustache said:
Zenobia said:LISTEN TO DR. MOUSTACHE. It's a giant and very effective cocktease FOR NOTHING LIKE ALL WOMENYOU SPEAK THE TRUTH. YOU WILL BE MY NEW DISCIPLE.


So your main complaint is that you didn't get to see some dope quarian titties? Shit, if it's that important to you - www.e-hentai.org
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B======D 5 years ago on 12/14/10
Equipped: Hide (Guitar Shreddin!) named "Reillion"
I think, like me, they just wanted to see her face. WHAT DOES SHE LOOK LIKE UNDER THE MASK?!?!?!



Image: 523x1023 JPG, 72KB. Click to view.
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Ak 5 years ago on 12/14/10
Equipped: Chicken & Waffles
Mother of God
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Dr. Moustache 5 years ago on 12/14/10
Equipped: Cursed Videotape. Seven days starting.... NOW. named "The CockRing"
Anal Rape Tsunami said:
I think, like me, they just wanted to see her face. WHAT DOES SHE LOOK LIKE UNDER THE MASK?!?!?!

Image: 523x1023 JPG, 72KB. Click to view.


Yes! I don't care about seeing her tittays (okay, well, I do, but I wouldn't fault the game for not showing 'em), but SHEPHERD got to see her face, so WHY DIDN'T WE?! Seriously, that totally broke the fourth wall for me, and it was terrible. We're supposed to BE Shepherd, so everything he sees, we should see. Also, I want to see what her skin/body is like under her suit.

When they gave me that cop-out, I literally screamed at my computer. I was so pissed.
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Erics 5 years ago on 12/14/10
Equipped: Magus Statue named "sefirot"
Just wanted to pop in and say DAMN I'M EXCITED FOR THIS GAME.
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B======D 5 years ago on 12/14/10
Equipped: Hide (Guitar Shreddin!) named "Reillion"
Quoting your original thread post just for good measure.

I reacted with equal feelings of hatred towards EA after not seeing Tali's face.

Dr. Moustache said:
SPOILERSSPOILERSSPOILERSSPOILERS

WHAT.

WHAT.

I got TOTALLY FUCKING GYPPED.

For the entire fucking game, I was looking forward to boning the shit out of Tali, and finally seeing what kind of hot alien body was under that suit.

Well GUESS WHAT. They didn't show a god-damned thing! She jumps on top of me, fully clothed, and then it cuts away.

THAT IS SOME BULLSHIT RIGHT THERE, EA. I AM INCREDIBLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.

Other than that and the stupid mineral probing, this game was really, really awesome.


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Senator Hideki 5 years ago on 12/14/10
Equipped: Angel Wings named "Hey... they fit!"
Woohoo Cthulhu said:


Don't listen to Dr. Moustache. The romance option for Tali is solid and really endearing. The only aspect of it that I can see being a let down is that you don't get to see Tali's face or any of those luscious curves.

The lead up betwee...


So is Tali a more fitting romance for Paragon, Renegade, or either?
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Fievel 5 years ago on 12/14/10
Equipped: Kiss from Creepy Stalker named "A kiss from the shadows"
Tali's definitely a Paragon runthrough.

I find the best Renegade runthrough with a guy is Jack for the sex, then Miranda for the long haul.
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Michi 5 years ago on 12/14/10
Equipped: Radtaculous Glove of POWWWEER
You guys I can't decide whether to go with Jacob or Garrus. Send help.
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BLAM! 5 years ago on 12/14/10
Equipped: Dante's Ebony+Ivory named "BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!"
Another Girl said:
You guys I can't decide whether to go with Jacob or Garrus. Send help.

GARRUS!!

This reminds me i need to go through my second playthrough with my female Renegade Shepard and get with Garrus.
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Thin White Duke 5 years ago on 01/07/11
Equipped: Banana named "Practice makes perfect"
In Mass Effect 3, the Reapers arrive in the milky Way, prepared to annihilate all life on in the Galaxy, starting with Earth. However, on the way there, the Reapers take trillions of terabytes of broadcast data from the galaxy's races, using their own entertainment, documentaries, and history to better learn how to deal with this task.

One transmission was of particular interest.

After viewing it, the Reapers decided to follow the traditions set forth in the ancient television broadcast in order to see if this particular iteration of organic life is really worth enslaving and using for the next cycle. They arrive, and midst the panic and horror their arrival brings, they send a single broadcast:

They challenge Commander Shepard and his crew to a Space Jam.

Moderator Andrew Says:

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Zordon 5 years ago on 01/07/11
Equipped: John Booty Plushy named "Queen of Poopflowers"
Maybe Tali looks like this.

Image: 2600x1625 JPG, 1303KB. Click to view.
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OmNomCupcake 5 years ago on 01/07/11
Equipped: Rope Of Infinite Bondage named "tie me up and spank me!"
Damn.. I havent even gotten a chance to play Mass Effect 2 yet...

I need a gaming computer ASAP.

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