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Gen. Chat “Thread for OB Parent-advice!” by Lindze

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Scarlett 2 years ago on 01/23/12
Equipped: Home Pregnancy Test named "Too little, too late"
1) As long as you're with him the entire time and you're with him, then there's no reason not to experiment. Really, when it comes to deciding "when" to do something, it's different for every kid (and every parent)! If you want to try it out, and you think it's a good time for you guys to try it, definitely try it. You guys may decide that you're not quite ready to move from the chair and there's nothing wrong with that at all. Or you may learn that he's ready to take a bath without it! It's win-win.

2) I can't really answer this one! River hasn't really reacted in a scared way to anything yet, honestly. I think she's had some nightmares and those started like, within in the last year (but hasn't happened in a long time too).

3) Again, like number one, every kid and parent development is different! If you depend on others to tell you when you should expect something, it will either lead you to be disappointed or potentially lead you to push the child to do something that they aren't ready to do! Vicious cycle.

I will say that you cannot communicate with him enough. This is something that I had a hard time doing (and still feel guilty about) because I was suffering with my own depression. But constantly engaging with him, repeating things over and over, "Where's Daddy? There he is!". Sounds like you're doing everything right, so don't worry about these "milestones".

Your little man will do it when he's ready! And you just keep doing the wonderful mommy things that you're doing and just keep it up until he's ready!

(Sorry, the "when he's ready" answer annoyed me too, but I can't stress it enough.)
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Lindze 2 years ago on 01/23/12
Equipped: MapleTrainę brand Syrup
mimicking scarlett on all she said about baths and what not, plus i wanted to suggest, there has GOT to be some online forums just for parents with disabled children that could answer your questions much much better than us.
i found a bunch just doing a quick google search, but Im sure you could find more:

http://...originsofcerebralpalsy.com/...-forums-chats.html
http://...cerebralpalsyforum.net/...cerebral-palsy-f5.html
http://www.cerebralpalsy.bz/community/default.asp

i just dont feel its right for me to give you advice on whats normal for development for a child with cerebral palsy when i know nothing about it or its symptoms. Most of those forums are tight knit and you might even be able to find some local buddies with the same situation as you, which would be awesome!
Good luck, Sky!
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Tulip O'Hare 2 years ago on 01/23/12
Equipped: Eeeehhhhhh!!! named "Two Snaps Up in Z Formation"
rainydays said:
When should I expect him to point to things?

Bat at interesting things -- age 3-5 months
Reach for things -- 5-8 months
Point to things -- 7-10 months

rainydays said:
When should I expect him to look at his Dad when I say 'Where's Daddy?'

age 8-12 months

rainydays said:
I know that speech-wise we've got up until he turns 2yrs old in October before we need to 'worry' about it

[Disclaimer for anyone new to the thread: I am in school to be a speech-language pathologist. Now then:]
THIS IS A LIE AND FIRE WHOEVER TOLD IT TO YOU!! The "2 years old" line is used by LAZY professionals because speech and language development explodes around age 2 -- so it's super easy to tell who's behind at that point. Speech, physical, and occupational therapy can benefit children of ANY age!
And since Jake is under age 6 and you are a U.S. taxpayer, you are entitled to FREE speech/PT/OT services IN YOUR HOME from your state's Early Intervention office. You DO NOT NEED A REFERRAL from a doctor or anyone. Go here and call the 800 number: http://www.dars.state.tx.us/ecis/ If you've done this before and they turned you away, call again. If someone's told you no, call again. You and Jake have a RIGHT to these services.

I urge anyone else in this thread who's worried about their kid under age 5 or another kid they know to call their state's office too. The worst that happens is you get a little of your tax money back in the form of peace of mind. The best is that a kid gets the help s/he needs to be on the level with typical peers.
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The Virgin Queen 2 years ago on 01/23/12
Equipped: Automail Arm named "Wanking Arm"
Jake already has OT/PT at home once a week via EI, we've not thought about ST just yet. He's 15 months old, would you recommend we try to get him seeing a ST then?
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Lindze 2 years ago on 01/23/12
Equipped: MapleTrainę brand Syrup
Kobayashi Maru said:

Bat at interesting things -- age 3-5 months
Reach for things -- 5-8 months
Point to things -- 7-10 months


age 8-12 months


[Disclaimer for anyone new to the thread: I am in school to be a speech-language pathologist. Now the...


Im confused by this and by your questioning this topic in general, Sky..... doesn't your son's cerebral palsy affect this issue? Wouldnt that mean that those standard times listed by Kobayashi Maru be completely useless? (not that her advice on the therapy is useless by any means, that's awesome info)
Again, Im not an expert on cerebral palsy, which is why I suggested you ask a doctor or someone more skilled in this department. I really wish I could offer you better advice than "go ask an expert"!
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The Virgin Queen 2 years ago on 01/23/12
Equipped: Automail Arm named "Wanking Arm"
I was asking for 'normal' kids, not for those affected by CP. Each case of CP is different anyway, but I just wanted to see a more 'normal' timeline of when X is meant to happen and when you guys have experienced it with your kids. His CP mostly affects him physically, but he should be pointing at things by now and he certainly should be looking at me and Daniel when we ask "Where's Mum/Dad?". He can do things on the same level as these so I was just curious as to when people here had their kids do the same really. No professional is going to know the answer of if/when he'll do it. I was mostly just curious :]
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Tulip O'Hare 2 years ago on 01/23/12
Equipped: Eeeehhhhhh!!! named "Two Snaps Up in Z Formation"
rainydays said:
Jake already has OT/PT at home once a week via EI, we've not thought about ST just yet. He's 15 months old, would you recommend we try to get him seeing a ST then?

Yes. 100%. If he's able to do PT and OT already, then he is definitely able to do speech therapy. Not just trying to make work for my colleagues or toot my field's horn -- babies learn a LOT about how language and communication work before they ever even say their first words (will be happy to PM or post more information about this if anyone wants). An experienced EI therapist will be able to come up with ways to help Jake along in developing these, a lot of which will probably involve just small changes to daily routines and play.
At the very least, the therapist will be able to address your concerns and questions.

Lindze said:
Im confused by this and by your questioning this topic in general, Sky..... doesn't your son's cerebral palsy affect this issue? Wouldnt that mean that those standard times listed by Kobayashi Maru be completely useless?

Yes and no. They are ranges for typically developing children, so yes, they answer Sky's questions about when these things generally happen, but no, they couldn't be expected to apply to a kid with CP.
PS: Slightly tangential: Honest to crap, I would say no more than 5% of the parents-of-little-kids I've ever worked with were crazy paranoid helicopter parents who were freaking out over nothing. Trust yer guts, moms and dads -- if you're really worried, you're probably NOT just being That Parent! (as speech and language go, anyway.)
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The Virgin Queen 2 years ago on 01/24/12
Equipped: Automail Arm named "Wanking Arm"
Okay, spoke to his PT today and when she does her 6 month assessment in February she's going to make it known we would like a teacher to help him out. She said that no ST she knows would pick Jake up at this age, but she does want him to receive assistance so she's going to sort out a teacher for him. She might be his PT, but she seems to be the one who is covering his 'case' so to speak. She organised the OT for us and receives the records from the OT on how he is doing etc.

Now we just need to get his insurance coverage back (Medicaid cancelled it because we didn't receive a renewal package & had no idea we needed to renew it after <5 months of coverage). Once that's back on he's getting braces for his feet and he's getting a special walker to help him stand and (hopefully) walk in too! Apparently it'd cost us thousands without insurance so we can't do that right now.
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Tulip O'Hare 2 years ago on 01/24/12
Equipped: Eeeehhhhhh!!! named "Two Snaps Up in Z Formation"
Wow, that is some shit about the insurance. Very sorry to hear about that.
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The Virgin Queen 2 years ago on 01/24/12
Equipped: Automail Arm named "Wanking Arm"
I'm pretty shitty with insurance as I've never had to worry about it in England. I just assumed that once you were insured you wouldn't become uninsured unless you missed a payment or whatever. We got ZERO warning that they wanted us to send in some renewal package and we never even received it. So they just cancelled it without notifying us. We only knew because we went to an appt with his pedi and they told us it was denied. So now we're just playing the waiting game again. Sigh.
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Mac 2 years ago on 01/25/12
Equipped: Ticket for the Man Train
Sky,

I'm on a pregnancy and parenting forum at www.babygaga.com. There are a bunch of girls on there that can point you to the right resources for more info.
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Scarlett 2 years ago on 02/11/12
Equipped: Home Pregnancy Test named "Too little, too late"
Hey moms and dads. Any viable tips for earache relief for the wee one? Seens been taking children aspirin, we put a couple drops of warmed olive oil in there. Anything else that could help her out?
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Bad Wolf 2 years ago on 02/11/12
Equipped: Sigil From Ed Elric's Coat named "Equivalent Exchange"
I used to get chronic ear infections as a kid, Scarlett. There is an Orange flavored kids Motrin liquid medicine for ear infections and aches that works really well.
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Kirei the Klown 2 years ago on 02/22/12
Equipped: Chicken & Waffles named "My baby daddy love him some Roscoes!"
What can I do about baby boredom?

Baby Lucia is about 9 months old now, and she's getting alot more interested in things. However, she still does not crawl or walk, and has a tendency to tip over backwards when sitting (and Jeebus help us if she isn't on something soft enough when she does that). So, she's still highly dependent on adults around her for amusement and movement, which isn't really a problem most of the time.

However, both myself and Lu's dad are having trouble keeping her entertained and also keeping ourselves from being overwhelmed by her needs and bored out of our minds simultaneously. She has an Exersaucer, which is a great place for her to hang out, but of course she gets tired of that too after a while, and we worry that we aren't stimulating her brain enough by plunking her in there too much everyday. We have also developed the bad habit of letting her watch TV (usually just Dinosaur Train and Sesame Street in the mornings), which studies have shown to have negative effects on brain development.

BUT OH MY GOD WHAT ELSE DO WE DO WITH HER??? I do my best to play games with Lucia while I have the news or the radio on, just for information and sound to keep the oppressive silence at bay. My husband does outings with her during the week to walk around the mall (or in fairer weather, around the neighborhood), and we go to an occasional parents' group meetup (which he never really enjoys because it's all mothers and he's really shy and doesn't talk to them much). The rest of the time it seems like we are constantly trying to balance the daily chores with playing with her so that she will grow up fit and intelligent, and it is so, SO hard to avoid the damn television.

Please heeeeeeeeeelp.
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Boudicca 2 years ago on 02/22/12
Equipped: Lightsaber named "I AM the Dark Side, Motherfuckers!!"
First, do not panic. It can be overwhelming thinking you have to be stimulating higher brain function every second that she's awake. Babies love stimulation, but you can't do everything perfectly and need to cut yourself some slack.

If you're anti-tv, I don't think a couple of shows is going to harm her. It will cause you more harm worrying that you're using the tv as a babysitter than any harm it will do her. I had two kids and we watched tv with them and let them watch it and they both are super smart and had no issues with development. I am absolutely not trying to talk you into letting her watch tv all the time if that is something you are against. Just letting you know that there is a big difference between watching tv with your child, singing the songs, pointing things out and using it as a tool than just plopping them down in front of it and never speaking to them at all.

We used a baby swing, a walker, a playpen, etc. for both our kids. Some people view it as dumping the baby in there but it is possible to interact and give them a safe place to sit without you having to hold them.

I guess the thing that sticks out to me is that you are doing a great job and it's normal to be worried that you aren't doing enough. Babies are a lot of work all day long and it can get to you, especially worrying that you could be doing more.

Anyway, I don't know that any of that helped at all, but hopefully some of the younger moms with little ones will be able to offer more advice!
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Kirei the Klown 2 years ago on 02/24/12
Equipped: Chicken & Waffles named "My baby daddy love him some Roscoes!"
Thanks - that does help soothe my worrying.
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Lord_BullGod 2 years ago on 03/12/12
Equipped: Triforce named "ONE RING TO RULE THEM ALL!!!!!!!!"
http://...huffingtonpost.com/...m-judgments_b_1319775.html

Good read
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Lindze 2 years ago on 03/13/12
Equipped: MapleTrainę brand Syrup
Lord_BullGod said:
...huffingtonpost.com/...m-judgments_b_1319775.html

Good read


thats a fucking awesome article. I am so sick of people without children who think they know better than I or who are rude to me and my kid. thanks Serge!
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Lord_BullGod 2 years ago on 03/14/12
Equipped: Triforce named "ONE RING TO RULE THEM ALL!!!!!!!!"
It completely goes with my life philosophy. I have no knowledge of the ecstasy and agony of parenting; I'll never judge parents because I'm watching my best friend and brother raise a kid. Damn, that shit is painful! I'll never find a reason to forgive him or pardon him, because I know that he needs it if he wants 10 damn minutes to himself and his wife if it means putting the kid in front of a TV playing trains pulling into stations. Then I crack jokes.

Then I find a reason to cringe at single fuckers making comments about parents who leash their kids. KIDS ARE ANIMALS. I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT. LITTLE MONSTERS, WHY YOU SO CUTE AND MONSTROUS
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A Study in Pink 2 years ago on 03/14/12
Equipped: Inappropriately Large Handful of Viagra named "Fuck, I will take any pill"
I have nothing to add to this thread except that I appreciate its existence, because parenting conversations are ones which I am generally left completely out of, and so it's really interesting to see these topics discussed with candor by actual parents around my age.

Carry on.

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