Choose Theme

Find the Sexy Nerd Next Door? 

The End “Funny S**t Parents say” by LeTonzy

NekoStar 5 years ago on 08/14/11
Equipped: Nunchiaku named "Turtle Power!"
My friend Natalie and I were super obsessed with the song "Drop It Like It's Hot" when it first came out. One night we were having a sleepover in my room (probably drinking liquor from my tea set) when my Mom starts yelling for us to come down stairs because apparently that song, "Drop it like a CHILD" that we like was on TV.

I probably have more stories about my Auntie Jette instead of my Mom. Like my Mom, she is from the Philippines and speaks english well... but Auntie Jette still has slip ups every once in awhile. She is most famous for offering someone "congratulations" instead of "condolences" at a funeral, and consistently pronouncing broccoli "Bro-cole-ee".
(s)Aint Chimo 5 years ago on 08/14/11
Equipped: Marble Pocky named "I don't take it for granite."
My brother recently convinced my mother that the show Bones was called Boners and I convinced her the show Ghost Whisperer was Ghost Whimperer. The one I'm really proud of my brother for is this one:

Me: What are you watching?
Mom: What's the name of this show...oh yeah! Jerry said it was called Country Bumpkin.
Me: Country Bumpkin? What the hell? Dad, turn on the guide.

My boyfriend's mom makes me laugh cos she's got a thick accent and comes out with some very blunt things because, I'm assuming, she can't find the right words in English.

We passed by an insurance agency that was hiring, she told me, "Oh, you should go there, you don't have to be smart to work there."

We were getting gas and showed me a picture she found of her boyfriend when he was in his 30s and said, "This is when he was dirty, he look better here, I don' t know what happened!" Said boyfriend was right there next to us.

Talking to my boyfriend, she said, "Look at how fat you are! Look at your hair! You're going to scare Mercades away!"

She keeps asking me when I'm going to give her some grandbabies and I keep telling her I have to wait a while until I get married, she said, "Oh, no, you don't have to get married to have kids! Look at my son! I not get married until he was tree. I never wanted to get married, don't get married! It's harder to get divorce and it mess with your papers."
LeTonzy 5 years ago on 09/13/11
Equipped: Ticket for the Man Train named "there's a train i wouldn't mind riding on"
Called my dad last week

Me: hey pops, guess what?! I got more hours at work now!

Dad: oooooh, das nice. joo can finally go out an buy a girlfriend now!
NekoStar 5 years ago on 09/22/11
Equipped: Pocket Link named "small but pleasing"
Not a saying, but here's a pretty sweet pic of my dad from back when I first got a computer with a built in cam... he is obviously really pleased with himself.

Image: 640x480 JPG, 73KB. Click to view.
marinasaurus rex 5 years ago on 10/09/11
Equipped: Shark With Frickin' Laser named "Raymond"
my mom: when we were kids we tried nutmeg to get high. It worked, but you got super nauseous.

friend: how did you hear to do that?

mom: oh we read about it in a book we got from the library!
(s)Aint Chimo 5 years ago on 10/10/11
Updated: 5 years ago on 10/10/11
Equipped: Marble Pocky named "I don't take it for granite."
My mom and I were crossing a busy parking lot to get to a store, I told her to stop so a car can pass but she said very defiantly, "NO! I want to get run over!" and stomped ahead, stopping the car! I thought it was pretty cute of her. Before we left my brother off at the bus stop to see one of his girlfriends, she gave him the motherly advice of: "Remember, if she gets pregnant, you're out of the house!" he looked at her kinda peeved and she yelled back, "Don't get butt-hurt!" My brother and I's mouths dropped, she never says stuff like that!"

My dad's taking a senior computer class, he likes to come home and tell me what he learned. He was excitedly telling me how the teacher is setting them up with a Skype account, pauses, and says, "What's a Skype? Is that something I want? Is that good?"
PS: When we were at the market last week, my mom came across a kid who kept getting in our way. She slid her hands back and forth like she was starting a motorcycle, said "Vroom Vroom! I'm gonna run you over!" Annd the kid ran to his dad!

Today, she saw a little boy in a cart and he said "No!" Mom looked at him and said "Yes!" He looked very determined and said "No!!!" And mom said "Yes!!!" Unntil the little boy started crying! This is why I can't take her out un-medicated!
LeTonzy 5 years ago on 12/28/11
Equipped: Vash's Glasses
MOM:uh, from santa from santa from santa! Why did the girls put "from santa" on all the gifts! He didnt pay for all these gifts, I did!
Me: Yeah, Santa is pretty selfish, all he thinks about is himself
mom: yeah, I know! fucking Santa!
(s)Aint Chimo 4 years ago on 03/18/12
Equipped: Rose Bouquet named "Do these smell like chloroform to you...?"
My mom just called The Black Eyed Peas "The Fergies" XD Oi, ma, you getting battier by the day makes me look forward to getting older!
Devi 4 years ago on 03/21/12
Equipped: Lawn Gnome named "Pablo"
So my mom is getting weird. My sister told me the other day out of nowhere our mom blurted "Well, I hope Felicity and her husband (my friends) aren't swingers!"
HeavyArmsDan 4 years ago on 03/21/12
Equipped: Pimp Hat named "Shady Hat (Charisma +1)"
A few years ago I bought a t-shirt with Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" cover on it. When my mom saw me wear it she said, "Oh, just be careful to not wear that in the gay neighborhoods, you might get a date."
kashira 4 years ago on 03/26/12
Equipped: Embarassing Yaoi Fanfiction by kashira named "The Story Of Eppy and Fievel"
I asked my mother about the girl one of my brothers is currently on a date with. She replied: "Zack [other brother] didn't have any scoop on her so I had him killed."
(s)Aint Chimo 4 years ago on 03/28/12
Equipped: Rose Bouquet named "Do these smell like chloroform to you...?"
My mom has laryngitis and talks in squeaks and whispers. So when she's talking to my dad, he says things like, "I can't hear you, Godfather, speak up!" He gets a kick out of seeing her get frustrated!

My dad called my mom's office today and her boss picked up and said she ran away with some man. My dad laughed and said, "I hope he has a car cos I'm not picking her ass up now!"
diavana 4 years ago on 03/29/12
Equipped: Used Panties From Carmila
My mom a couple of days ago: "I'm sorry I didn't pick a better sperm donor."
(s)Aint Chimo 4 years ago on 03/30/12
Updated: 4 years ago on 04/11/12
Equipped: Rose Bouquet named "Do these smell like chloroform to you...?"
I'm helping my ex-mom-in-law move today, she hasn't seen me in a while. Last time, I had my hair in red/pink streaks. Lately, I let it go into a greyish purple/green mix cos I don't know whether I should bleach or dye it anymore. When I met her outside, I said hello, she said, "What's wrong with joor hair, Mersedess???" I laughed cos I saw that coming.
Later on, she said, "Maybe joo can help my boyfriend do somting wid his hair!"
Me: "Isn't he bald?"
She: "Jess, but maybe joo can tape some hair onto his head!"
Oh, ex-mom-in-law, how I'll miss your comments!

On St. Patrick's Day, my ex wore white jeans for the first time like ever, his mom saw him and said, "Don't wear those jeans." He asked why, she said, "Cos people are gonna ting joor crazy!" Okaaaay…
PS: My parents and I are watching First 48. They arrested someone and put them in ankle cuffs. Mom said to the TV, "You can walk like that, we've all tried on shoes at Target!" I groaned and laughed at the same time! She asked, "Is that a no-no? Did I say something wrong? I mean, we've all done that, right?"
PS: My parents came to pick me up from the mechanic's, the sun was facing them on the drive home so mom put down her sun visor. It didn't help, so dad put his down and asked if it helped any. When mom said no, he said, "You're too short!" She rolled her eyes and said, "You're too kind!"
PS: Me: "So to put your photos in that folder, you select, drag and drop them in there."
Dad: "Dragon Drop?"
Me: "...yes dad, Dragon Drop!"
PS: This is actually from my grandma:
Me: "I'm trying out for a dancing & singing group for big girls."
Grandma: "Why? Isn't the show over when the fat lady sings?"
Oh, grandma!
LeTonzy 4 years ago on 04/16/12
Equipped: Ticket for the Man Train named "there's a train i wouldn't mind riding on"
Family together eating at Ihop when I came to visit

mom: I want something sweet to eat

Dad: Im righ here

Mom: I said something sweet, not something that will make me throw up!

Dad: This is why I can not take joo to nice place!

This is followed by mom and dad having a kicking match under the table.
marinasaurus rex 4 years ago on 04/20/12
Equipped: Shark With Frickin' Laser named "Raymond"
Mom: Marina do you know where your old American Girl doll is?

Me: Probably in the sunporch, why?

Mom: I need it to make a deep sea burial shroud
(s)Aint Chimo 4 years ago on 04/22/12
Equipped: Rose Bouquet named "Do these smell like chloroform to you...?"
Grandma: "Would you like something to drink? I have chicken. Would you like some pollo?"

Dad singing mindlessly: "If you want to loooove me, buckbuckbuck BUCKAAWWWW."

Very chicken themed post!
Mr. Francis York Morgan 4 years ago on 04/26/12
Equipped: Magical OtakuBooty Source Code named "G Gundam's Plot"
NekoStar said:
Not a saying, but here's a pretty sweet pic of my dad from back when I first got a computer with a built in cam... he is obviously really pleased with himself.

"There will be different conclusions... that you can jump to."
(s)Aint Chimo 4 years ago on 05/04/12
Updated: 4 years ago on 05/22/12
Equipped: Rose Bouquet named "Do these smell like chloroform to you...?"
News Anchor on TV: "Studies say joggers live longer!"

Dad: "Not if they get hit by a car!"
PS: Grandma: "See if these pants and sweatshirt fit you, when I wear them I look like Winnie the Pooh."
PS: Mom suggested I put small Slinkys on my boobs as pasties. I don't know what to say to that.
PS: The following are tweets from an outing with my parents Friday:

-Mom is wearing a Hawaiin shirt today, Dad said her flowers need watering XD

-"This music sounds like someone is hitting a shopping bag!" -My mom

-Dad: "I'm going to send my friend an email with roses for Mother's Day." Mom: "What about me?" Dad: "You don't have an e-mail!

-Mom: "Seriously, what are you getting me for Mother's Day?" Dad: "I'll give you McFlowers!" Me: "Is that like large fries or something?"
PS: Me: "Put the ice cream back! I made you a sandwich!" Dad: "Oh yeah? Well...I made YOU!" Dad's logic is never wrong. Ever.
PS: Whenever I'm in a bad mood or irritable, my mom says I'm "Angry Birds." I get a kick when I'm in a better mood and she says, "Oh, good, you're not Angry Birds anymore!"
jadium 4 years ago on 05/22/12
Mom: Can you put that video on a tube?

Me: You mean upload it on Youtube?

Mom: No, put it on those little tubes you put in the side of the laptop.

Me: A flash drive?

Mom: Yeah the thing that looks like a lipstick tube.

You need a paid membership to reply to this thread.

Paid memberships are four bucks a month or twenty bucks a year. Cheap!

However, creating an account is free. Members without paid accounts can use a lot of the site's features without ever paying anything.

Be awesome. Create an account!

Geek dating and social networking for awesome people.

Sign Up. Join OtakuBooty!

OtakuBooty is where smart, funny, sexy nerds meet. Creating an account is free. Full membership is $4/month or $15/year. Cheap!

Press People. Need material? Cover OB for your site, blog, podcast, magazine, or what-have-you.  More info »

Want Your Stuff Reviewed By OB? Just send us your press releases and requests to review your products.