|
jadium 12 months ago on 05/22/12 Mom: Can you put that video on a tube?
Me: You mean upload it on Youtube? Mom: No, put it on those little tubes you put in the side of the laptop. Me: A flash drive? Mom: Yeah the thing that looks like a lipstick tube.  Nurse Chapel 11 months ago on 05/26/12 Equipped: Kiss from Dr. Girlfriend I don't have any good quotes off the top of my head right now, but I just found this picture of my stepfather on a tiny novelty bike. Image: 640x480 JPG, 81KB. Click to view.  (s)Aint Chimo 11 months ago on 05/26/12 Equipped: Rose Bouquet named "Do these smell like chloroform to you...?" Me: "Dad's doing something weird!" Mom: "Explain to him that we're in public!"
This is what my dad was busying himself with at a family bbq: Image: 3264x1840 JPG, 1262KB. Click to view. (s)Aint Chimo 11 months ago on 05/27/12 Updated: 11 months ago on 06/05/12 Equipped: Rose Bouquet named "Do these smell like chloroform to you...?" Mom: "You want to go get me some water?"
Dad: "Uhh...*grabs the cat* Nope, I have a cat on my lap!" My dad HATES the cat, btw! PS: Mom: "Do you have anything delicate you need washed?"
Me: "No." Mom: "Do you have anything delicate?" Dad: "Just you, my pumpkin!" -------------------------------------- Dad: "Who's the lady on TV?" Me: "Gwen Stefani, she's in a band called No Doubt." Dad: "I doubt that!" PS: Dad: "OH, my ovaries! My fallopian tubes! I can feel them, they're full of ANTS!"
Me: "DAD?! WHY?!" Dad: hits me with a towel  LeTonzy 11 months ago on 06/12/12 Equipped: Ticket for the Man Train named "there's a train i wouldn't mind riding on" dad "so how joo been doing?"
Me "great, Ive been giving plasma to get extra money" dad "I THOUGHT YOU SAID JOO WERE DOIN GREAT?! NOW YOU'RE SELLING JOO BODY!" (s)Aint Chimo 11 months ago on 06/12/12 Updated: 10 months ago on 06/29/12 Equipped: Rose Bouquet named "Do these smell like chloroform to you...?" Mom: "Grandma's oldest friend died. I didn't like the lady, don't know why, but I'll take grandma to the funeral."
Me: "That's really nice of you, Mom!" Mom: "Yeah, I want make sure she's really dead!" Me: "*look of sheer horror* MOM!? WHAT?!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Grandma fun is fun for everyone: Shit my Parent's Parents Say -My grandma called a drive-thru a drive-by! -Grandma: "Its happy hour!" Me: "Really? When's happy hour?" Grandma: "Whenever I want! clanks glasses & singing Happy happy happy!" -"This ice cream is Weight Watchers approved! I would eat the whole thing! Your Grandpa would say it's okay, it's Weight Watchers!" -"If your name is Domingo, or Dominga, then you can have a birthday every Sunday!" -I answered Grandma's phone and it was my uncle. When she got the phone, first thing she says is, "Don't believe her, she got me drunk!" without even hearing a thing my uncle said! I was like, huh?! -"If you go to the thrift store, do me a favor and find me a new pair of legs. Long ones, so we can cut them if they're too long!" PS: LMFAO was on Good Morning America.
Grandma: "What is this band and why is there a box there?" Me: "They're called LMFAO, and the box is the Party Rock robot." Grandma: "Why is there a dancing zebra?" Me: "Its just a fun little thing they have at concerts." fast forward to the end Grandma: "I see the box, where's the dancing zebra???" I love my grandma! LeTonzy 10 months ago on 07/03/12 Updated: 8 months ago on 08/27/12 Equipped: Ticket for the Man Train named "there's a train i wouldn't mind riding on" Mom: There's a pimple on the back of your neck!
Me: Don't pop it! I'm saving it for later. I'll pop it when I get home. Mom: wait till tomorrow. Me: why? Mom: Because tomorrow is 4th july! PS: Sitting In the backyard watching our kittens play.
Mom: oh my gosh, look at them. They're just like people. Me: they're animals mom Mom: I know that! But look at the way the act (a kitty falls down)....it's scary (s)Aint Chimo 8 months ago on 08/27/12 Equipped: Rose Bouquet named "Do these smell like chloroform to you...?" My mom called 4square "Hooterville".
Mom: "I don't like Adventure Time, there's something about this cartoon that's not real." Mom: "Did you check your Beanie Babies lately to see if they're well fed?" Me: "No, they're eating each other." Mom: "Circle of life." Me: "Dad, what does this word mean?" Dad: "That's Italian for BALLS!" Me: "Erm…okee." My cousin jumped in the water with his mouth open and choked on the water. Dad said, "Close your mouth, we need the water in the pool!" My dad called me sorda (which is a kind of way of telling a person you're hard of hearing or not paying attention to them) cos I didn't hear him ask me how to spell "yogurt". My dad's reaction to the Dodger game: "Poppycock!" Grandma asked me to remodel her house "like they do in the Lowe's commercials!" Grandma: "Hurry up, I left my phone at home and I may have missed a call from my boyfriend!" Grandma: "If you don't take me to Carl's Jr. I'm going to cry and kick your cousin so she can cry too! I can't kick you, you will leave us!" LeTonzy 8 months ago on 08/28/12 Updated: 8 months ago on 08/29/12 Equipped: Ticket for the Man Train named "there's a train i wouldn't mind riding on" Showing my mom a picture of my ridiculously handsome friend
Me: He's one good looking man. Mom: I do that to with women sometimes. I look at a certain women an I think 'wow, she's beautiful'. Then I think 'Oh my gosh, I think Im attracted to her' and then I feel weird :3 PS: at joann fabrics
mom: wow, these are 25% off! me:you dont need those. mom:YOU DO KNOW MY LIFE!  Mr. Francis York Morgan 8 months ago on 08/29/12 Equipped: Magical OtakuBooty Source Code named "G Gundam's Plot" Generally, I'm the one that says the idiotic shit. My folks are far too grounded most of the time.
That said, I've kind of engendered an off-kilter nature in my younger brother, leading to this touching exchange. Me: Hey, fucknuckle. Did you know that I have something in common with Contra? Brother: You peaked twenty years ago? They get so sassy at fourteen. Some day, I'll introduce him to OB. LeTonzy 8 months ago on 09/04/12 Equipped: Ticket for the Man Train named "there's a train i wouldn't mind riding on" my mom giving me dating advice.
"1st, you have to dress really nice, than you have to act like a jerk, pretty girls like that" (s)Aint Chimo 8 months ago on 09/11/12 Updated: 8 months ago on 09/17/12 Equipped: Rose Bouquet named "Do these smell like chloroform to you...?" I was crying to my dad about how much I suck at ironing. Dad got up from his chair, opened the back door, shouted "Merci sucks at ironing!" for everyone to hear, and sat back down. PS: I woke up totally tired from walking around Comikaze as Flame Princess from Adventure time. When I went into the kitchen:
Dad: "You look burned out." Me: "Yeah." Dad: "GET IT? Burned out? AAAHAHAHHA!" Me: "I see what you did thar…" Flame Princess jokes are cool!  A Study in Pink 8 months ago on 09/20/12 I love this thread! Your folks sound like a riot, all of you. LeTonzy 7 months ago on 09/22/12 Equipped: Ticket for the Man Train named "there's a train i wouldn't mind riding on" A Study in Pink said:they're pretty awesome brother: Im going to kohls to buy stuff Mom:oh I have a gift card BUT YOU CANT HAVE IT, IT'S MINE!!! Dad: why you bring it up then?! (s)Aint Chimo 7 months ago on 09/27/12 Equipped: Rose Bouquet named "Do these smell like chloroform to you...?" Mom: "Who's this Honey Boo Boo child everyone's talking about?"
I show her a video Mom: "THAT'S Honey Boo Boo??? Isn't she a little fat to be in pageants? What's her real name? Honey?!" LeTonzy 7 months ago on 09/29/12 Equipped: Ticket for the Man Train named "there's a train i wouldn't mind riding on" over heard from my room
Dad: how much is in a 24 pack of beer? my bro: ...what?! 24, why? dad: just want to make sure we have enough to get favy(me) drunk! (s)Aint Chimo 7 months ago on 10/04/12 Equipped: Rose Bouquet named "Do these smell like chloroform to you...?" Mom: "Merci, have you been wearing your boots?"
Dad: "She wears them 24 hours a day!" Me: "BOOTS, Dad, not BOOBS!" laughter ensues LeTonzy 7 months ago on 10/06/12 Equipped: Ticket for the Man Train named "there's a train i wouldn't mind riding on" Mom: dont get tattoos! I need you to keep your blood clean!
My bro: Why? mom: what if I need it later? Me: so you had kids so we could be blood banks for you?! mom: I NEED YOUR BLOOOOOOOOOOOD! <she is dead serious My Sibling and I on the floor laughing  Mac 7 months ago on 10/07/12 Equipped: Ticket for the Man Train Me: "Grammy, you still have a Wachovia card?! When does that expire?"
Grams: looks at card "Uh, looks like in 13." Mom: "of this year??" Me: "Yes mom, in 13 of this year." -_-  Princess Katy Cuppincakes 7 months ago on 10/19/12 Equipped: Pocket Link named "small but pleasing" I have never heard my mom curse in her life but a few days ago on skype she called this guy I used to date a douchebag.
My Dad proceeds to scold her, saying how he just Facebook-Lectured (he does this a lot) my 31 year old cousin about calling something an "effing douchebag" on his status and my mom replies: "Well I just called him a douchebag! Not an effing douchebag!" | Geek dating and social networking for awesome people.OtakuBooty is where smart, funny, sexy nerds meet. Creating an account is free. Full membership is $4/month or $15/year. Cheap! Press People. Need material? Cover OB for your site, blog, podcast, magazine, or what-have-you. More info » Want Your Stuff Reviewed By OB? Just send us your press releases and requests to review your products.  Member: Mazel Tov Cocktail  Member: trampersand We have 25,189 Members! |
