When you see a car with the interior lights on and there's no obvious way to figure out who the owner is?

Just check the door handle and see if it's unlocked. If the door's unlocked, duck in and turn off their lights. You just hit the KARMIC LOTTERY!

Theoretically, you could get killed or arrested or something doing this but let's be realistic: pretty much all of us are far too nerdy to be mistaken for car thieves. Don't sue me if you get killed doing this though.

I did this for somebody tonight and I think it was my favorite one yet because the car was from Georgia so, I like to imagine that in the morning she's going realize she forgot to lock her car and she'll be like OH MAN IT'S A GOOD THING NONE OF THESE MEAN PHILADELPHIANS TOOK ANYTHING, BECAUSE FUCK THESE PEOPLE and have no idea that somebody did sneak into the car just to save her the hassle of getting jumpered.

(I thought about leaving her a note but figured that would just creep her out. I'd rather her think we're horrible than be creeped out!)

I'd probably do this. Of course, I'd be the one person out of the entire site to get yelled at/pushed/punched/maced/tasered/arrested/stabbed/shot for my trouble. I much prefer the "lady-left-her-purse-in-the-shopping-cart-and-is-about-to-drive-away-so-I-have-to-chase-her-down" quest. Much less chance of getting in trouble for nothing, AND you get some exercise out of the deal.

John Booty said:
the car was from Georgia so, I like to imagine that in the morning she's going realize she forgot to lock her car and she'll be like OH MAN IT'S A GOOD THING NONE OF THESE MEAN PHILADELPHIANS TOOK ANYTHING, BECAUSE FUCK THESE PEOPLE

We do have criminals in Georgia, too, but yeah either way fuck you people

Wait you didn't lock the car when you finished? I'd lock it!

Im hispanic, they would immediately think I was trying to steal the car. So fuck that shit

I just deleted a long post about how I was scared to go into her car. Because I was just thinking about how her car is still unlocked.

Maybe we should figure out something else awesome that I can do to her car.

What if we did something completely fucking baffling? Like filling her car with cupcakes or something. I have a coffee cup full of change downstairs. What if I filled up her cupholders with change?

Imagine how confused you'd be if somebody broke into your car and... filled it with money.

She's gonna come back and, before even noticing the doors are open, scream WHO TURNED MY FUCKING LIGHTS OFF

I am seriously trying to think if there's a place where I could possibly buy a gift basket around here at 1AM.

Honestly I'd leave it at the first good deed and not press it any further, because if you do get caught going into a stranger's car to put money or cupcakes in it, the best you can hope for is a really, really awkward "thank you" and her pulling over nervously as soon as you're out of sight to check the car for semen.

check the car for semen.

That is basically the only thing stopping me from doing more "anti-vandalism."

Even if you didn't see the person going through your car (and leaving a gift basket whose contents you would never consume for one million dollars) it's still a queasy feeling to know somebody went through your car. It happened to me once although admittedly there was no gift basket.

Someone broke into my roommate's car last month and left her a bottle of mysterious, mixed prescription pills.

If you're going to go, go all out is what I am getting at, John.

Yeah, Leave it alone. You did good and don't want it misinterpreted with a Go Back.

Like George.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svWjtDhGQFg

such_brevity said:
Someone broke into my roommate's car last month and left her a bottle of mysterious, mixed prescription pills.

Now that's a gift basket!

All pills have those little ID numbers that let you look up what kind of medication it is. When you say "mysterious" it makes me like to imagine that the drug-basket-gifter-thief took the time to file off the ID numbers so as not to ruin the surprise(s)!

Man I hope that when we look them up it turns out they're all feline diabetes meds or something.

It wasn't like a WINK WINK DON'T WORRY, NO WHIMSICAL POETRY HERE kind of thing where I'm really headed out the door to fill a car with stuffed animals and oven-fresh cookies.

Also, is anyone imagining John selling off all his stuff to suport a sick gift basket addiction?

what does that mean

Sure, OR you were getting mad defensive because we know about the baskets, John. We know.

Falcons Suck Shit

JB said:
OH MAN IT'S A GOOD THING NONE OF THESE MEAN PHILADELPHIANS TOOK ANYTHING, BECAUSE FUCK THESE PEOPLE

This is extra funny to me because I spent part of Thanksgiving listening to my uncle talk about how much he loathes Pennsylvania and everyone in it. Apparently he had to live there for a few years for a job and hated every last minute of it, and even though it was like 30 years ago nobody can hold a grudge like an Italian.