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The End “Welcome to a text adventure.” by Johnny Landmine

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Member
Johnny Landmine 2 years ago on 02/13/12
Equipped: Devo Hat named "Effective non-streaking protection from Space Junk"
You walk out of the stairway and into the kitchen of a McDonalds restaurant.
There is a deep-fat fryer here.
There is a wall clock here.
There is a passageway to the front of the restaurant to the south and a staircase leading down.
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Member
Barney Stinson 2 years ago on 02/13/12
Equipped: Handcuffs named "For Police Chief Marth, controllin anime hooligans"
Look clock
Inventory
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Member
Johnny Landmine 2 years ago on 02/13/12
Equipped: Devo Hat named "Effective non-streaking protection from Space Junk"
According to the wall clock, it is 11:05.

You are carrying:
A recycle bin
An old Dr. Pepper can
An elvish letter opener
A typewritten letter
A coupon for a free Sausage Egg McMuffin
A lantern
A white T-shirt reading "Spelunkers do it Down Deep"
A pile of brass and glass shards
A thing that should not be
A scrap of notebook paper
A tarnished silver watch
A key tethered to a small wooden rod
An epipen
A black T-shirt reading "Ernest Hemingway does it" (equipped)
The Book of Useful Blasphemies
A wad of spearmint gum
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Member
Barney Stinson 2 years ago on 02/13/12
Equipped: Handcuffs named "For Police Chief Marth, controllin anime hooligans"
Equip letter opener
South
Stab employee
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Member
Johnny Landmine 2 years ago on 02/13/12
Equipped: Devo Hat named "Effective non-streaking protection from Space Junk"
Barney Stinson said:
Equip letter opener
South


You are behind the counter in a McDonalds restaurant.
There is an employee holding a half-eaten Sausage Egg McMuffin here.
He says, "You're too late! We're finished with the breakfast menu for today."

Barney Stinson said:
Stab employee


Your letter opener proves ineffective against the employee.
It's just a letter opener, after all.
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Member
Barney Stinson 2 years ago on 02/13/12
Equipped: Handcuffs named "For Police Chief Marth, controllin anime hooligans"
Equip glass shards
Throw shards at employee's bored, contempting eyes
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Member
Johnny Landmine 2 years ago on 02/13/12
Equipped: Devo Hat named "Effective non-streaking protection from Space Junk"
The employee deftly dodges your glass shards.
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Member
Barney Stinson 2 years ago on 02/13/12
Equipped: Handcuffs named "For Police Chief Marth, controllin anime hooligans"
Shake Dr. Pepper can
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Member
Johnny Landmine 2 years ago on 02/13/12
Equipped: Devo Hat named "Effective non-streaking protection from Space Junk"
The hornet pokes his head out of the old Dr. Pepper can.
The employee stares at the hornet nervously.
The employee says, "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order?"
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Member
Barney Stinson 2 years ago on 02/13/12
Equipped: Handcuffs named "For Police Chief Marth, controllin anime hooligans"
Give coupon
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Member
Johnny Landmine 2 years ago on 02/13/12
Equipped: Devo Hat named "Effective non-streaking protection from Space Junk"
The employee says, "I'm sorry, but it's after eleven. We're no longer serving from the breakfast menu."
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Member
Barney Stinson 2 years ago on 02/13/12
Equipped: Handcuffs named "For Police Chief Marth, controllin anime hooligans"
Read Book of Blasphemies
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Member
Johnny Landmine 2 years ago on 02/13/12
Equipped: Devo Hat named "Effective non-streaking protection from Space Junk"
You flip through the Book of Useful Blasphemies aimlessly. It is mostly written in a cryptic scrawl, though if certain diagrams mean what you suspect, Aloysus P. Airconditioner may well have been the true inventor of paper clips.

The book seems disposed to open to a certain page, as if it had been held open there recently. The page mostly shares the book's illegibility, but you can make out the following passage:

"May prove Most Advantageous for the Unsticking of Temporall Reality:
ONE Pocket Watch, argentum
ONE Essence of Thee Horrific Void
A Quantity of Mentha spicata, Renderd as Paste
Boil all together in A Quantity of animal larde"
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Member
Barney Stinson 2 years ago on 02/13/12
Equipped: Handcuffs named "For Police Chief Marth, controllin anime hooligans"
North
Place thing that should not be in fryer
Place silver watch in fryer
Place gum in fryer
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Member
Johnny Landmine 2 years ago on 02/13/12
Equipped: Devo Hat named "Effective non-streaking protection from Space Junk"
The deep-fat fryer begins to bubble, burning hotter and hotter.
In a flash of sick-colored unlight, the contents of the fryer disappear entirely.

There is a Junior Blasphemer Short-Term Time Machine in the deep-fat fryer.
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Member
Moonage Daydream 2 years ago on 02/13/12
Equipped: Link's Boomerang named "I wish I knew how to quit you"
Use time machine
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Member
Johnny Landmine 2 years ago on 02/13/12
Equipped: Devo Hat named "Effective non-streaking protection from Space Junk"
You spin the dial on the Junior Blasphemer Short-Term Time Machine.

You are in the kitchen of a McDonalds restaurant.
There is a deep-fat fryer here.
There is a wall clock here. According to the wall clock, it is 10:53.
There is a passageway to the front of the restaurant to the south and a metal door to the north.
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Member
Moonage Daydream 2 years ago on 02/13/12
Equipped: Link's Boomerang named "I wish I knew how to quit you"
Give coupon
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Member
Johnny Landmine 2 years ago on 02/13/12
Equipped: Devo Hat named "Effective non-streaking protection from Space Junk"
I don't see anyone else in the kitchen.
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Member
Moonage Daydream 2 years ago on 02/13/12
Equipped: Link's Boomerang named "I wish I knew how to quit you"
South
Give coupon

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