D Boon “Welcome to a text adventure.” by Johnny Landmine Johnny Landmine 15 months ago on 02/13/12 Equipped: Devo Hat named "Effective non-streaking protection from Space Junk" You walk out of the stairway and into the kitchen of a McDonalds restaurant.
There is a deep-fat fryer here. There is a wall clock here. There is a passageway to the front of the restaurant to the south and a staircase leading down.  Barney Stinson 15 months ago on 02/13/12 Equipped: Handcuffs named "For Police Chief Marth, controllin anime hooligans" Look clock
Inventory Johnny Landmine 15 months ago on 02/13/12 Equipped: Devo Hat named "Effective non-streaking protection from Space Junk" According to the wall clock, it is 11:05.
You are carrying: A recycle bin An old Dr. Pepper can An elvish letter opener A typewritten letter A coupon for a free Sausage Egg McMuffin A lantern A white T-shirt reading "Spelunkers do it Down Deep" A pile of brass and glass shards A thing that should not be A scrap of notebook paper A tarnished silver watch A key tethered to a small wooden rod An epipen A black T-shirt reading "Ernest Hemingway does it" (equipped) The Book of Useful Blasphemies A wad of spearmint gum Barney Stinson 15 months ago on 02/13/12 Equipped: Handcuffs named "For Police Chief Marth, controllin anime hooligans" Equip letter opener
South Stab employee Johnny Landmine 15 months ago on 02/13/12 Equipped: Devo Hat named "Effective non-streaking protection from Space Junk" Barney Stinson said: You are behind the counter in a McDonalds restaurant. There is an employee holding a half-eaten Sausage Egg McMuffin here. He says, "You're too late! We're finished with the breakfast menu for today." Barney Stinson said: Your letter opener proves ineffective against the employee. It's just a letter opener, after all. Barney Stinson 15 months ago on 02/13/12 Equipped: Handcuffs named "For Police Chief Marth, controllin anime hooligans" Equip glass shards
Throw shards at employee's bored, contempting eyes Johnny Landmine 15 months ago on 02/13/12 Equipped: Devo Hat named "Effective non-streaking protection from Space Junk" The employee deftly dodges your glass shards. Barney Stinson 15 months ago on 02/13/12 Equipped: Handcuffs named "For Police Chief Marth, controllin anime hooligans" Shake Dr. Pepper can Johnny Landmine 15 months ago on 02/13/12 Equipped: Devo Hat named "Effective non-streaking protection from Space Junk" The hornet pokes his head out of the old Dr. Pepper can.
The employee stares at the hornet nervously. The employee says, "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order?" Barney Stinson 15 months ago on 02/13/12 Equipped: Handcuffs named "For Police Chief Marth, controllin anime hooligans" Give coupon Johnny Landmine 15 months ago on 02/13/12 Equipped: Devo Hat named "Effective non-streaking protection from Space Junk" The employee says, "I'm sorry, but it's after eleven. We're no longer serving from the breakfast menu." Barney Stinson 15 months ago on 02/13/12 Equipped: Handcuffs named "For Police Chief Marth, controllin anime hooligans" Read Book of Blasphemies Johnny Landmine 15 months ago on 02/13/12 Equipped: Devo Hat named "Effective non-streaking protection from Space Junk" You flip through the Book of Useful Blasphemies aimlessly. It is mostly written in a cryptic scrawl, though if certain diagrams mean what you suspect, Aloysus P. Airconditioner may well have been the true inventor of paper clips.
The book seems disposed to open to a certain page, as if it had been held open there recently. The page mostly shares the book's illegibility, but you can make out the following passage: "May prove Most Advantageous for the Unsticking of Temporall Reality: ONE Pocket Watch, argentum ONE Essence of Thee Horrific Void A Quantity of Mentha spicata, Renderd as Paste Boil all together in A Quantity of animal larde" Barney Stinson 15 months ago on 02/13/12 Equipped: Handcuffs named "For Police Chief Marth, controllin anime hooligans" North
Place thing that should not be in fryer Place silver watch in fryer Place gum in fryer Johnny Landmine 15 months ago on 02/13/12 Equipped: Devo Hat named "Effective non-streaking protection from Space Junk" The deep-fat fryer begins to bubble, burning hotter and hotter.
In a flash of sick-colored unlight, the contents of the fryer disappear entirely. There is a Junior Blasphemer Short-Term Time Machine in the deep-fat fryer.  Moonage Daydream 15 months ago on 02/13/12 Equipped: Link's Boomerang named "I wish I knew how to quit you" Use time machine Johnny Landmine 15 months ago on 02/13/12 Equipped: Devo Hat named "Effective non-streaking protection from Space Junk" You spin the dial on the Junior Blasphemer Short-Term Time Machine.
You are in the kitchen of a McDonalds restaurant. There is a deep-fat fryer here. There is a wall clock here. According to the wall clock, it is 10:53. There is a passageway to the front of the restaurant to the south and a metal door to the north. Moonage Daydream 15 months ago on 02/13/12 Equipped: Link's Boomerang named "I wish I knew how to quit you" Give coupon Johnny Landmine 15 months ago on 02/13/12 Equipped: Devo Hat named "Effective non-streaking protection from Space Junk" I don't see anyone else in the kitchen. Moonage Daydream 15 months ago on 02/13/12 Equipped: Link's Boomerang named "I wish I knew how to quit you" South
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