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Gen. Chat “God Commands Me To Be Lazy” by John Booty

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John Booty 2 years ago on 05/25/12
Equipped: Sparkledonkey's Gallbladder
So I worked from home yesterday. Over the course of nine or ten hours I spent about seven or eight of those with my butt planted in my chair, at my desk, in front of the computer.

Around 6PM, Steph got home. We relaxed for a bit, ate dinner, and folded some laundry while we watched TV. We also made a quick trip out for ice cream cones for dessert.

Anyway.

I knew I had some work to finish up in the office. I told myself I could be lazy and sit on the couch a little longer, until the end of the TV show.

A minute later, we heard a loud and shitty noise.

(To be continued)

Moderator Ryan the Lion Says:

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Ryan the Lion 2 years ago on 05/25/12
Equipped: Radtaculous Glove of POWWWEER named "Knife-proof bionic hand!"
That flag is what I see when I hear John is working at home.

Also, we all know that...

John Booty said:
Around 6PM, Steph got home. We relaxed for a bit...


...means that John sucked it up and thought long and hard about dicks (or thought about long, hard dicks...) while struggling through his husbandly bedroom obligations.
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Boudicca 2 years ago on 05/25/12
Equipped: Lightsaber named "I AM the Dark Side, Motherfuckers!!"
That flag is so appropriate to 'hearing a loud and shitty noise' that I almost just peed myself laughing.
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John Booty 2 years ago on 05/25/12
Equipped: Sparkledonkey's Gallbladder
haha

So, the shitty sound wasn't actually fecal in nature. It's just the kind of sound that is never associated with anything that's not pretty awful.

As it turns out, the ceiling fan over my office chair had spontaneously fallen from the ceiling.

The fan landed just behind the chair. I probably would have just been clipped by the blades as opposed to taking the full fan assembly in the head. So realistically we're talking "a trip to the ER for stitches" and not "skull fracture."

Anyway, I think this is God's way of rewarding me for procrastination. Had I been a more diligent guy I would have been hurtin'.
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Boudicca 2 years ago on 05/25/12
Equipped: Lightsaber named "I AM the Dark Side, Motherfuckers!!"
Holy shit! That's scary!! I am so glad you weren't sitting under it. I have thought about this kind of thing before because apparently in my family lineage there were a bunch of old ladies who worried about every damned thing in the world that could possibly happen! Anway, I've thought about the ceiling fan falling on the bed and shit like that.

Being lazy is now something to be thankful for!
PS: Also, what tv show was it that saved your life?
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fukkake 2 years ago on 05/25/12
Equipped: Cockblast of Vengence named "Crotchfire!"

It is really shitty because now I don't get the life insurance. Next time I won't fail.
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Ryan the Lion 2 years ago on 05/25/12
Equipped: Radtaculous Glove of POWWWEER named "Knife-proof bionic hand!"
I'm really glad you're ok, John. Did the ceiling fan damage anything? I hope it's not too much to get it fixed.
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Dr. Taylor Lay 2 years ago on 05/25/12
Equipped: Keys to the Pussy Wagon named "InYOURendo"
Steph, we were so close to our dream of eloping to the Hobo Isles.





So....close...
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John Booty 2 years ago on 05/25/12
Equipped: Sparkledonkey's Gallbladder
Ryan the Lion said:
I'm really glad you're ok, John. Did the ceiling fan damage anything? I hope it's not too much to get it fixed.


I think the landlord needs to fix that shit! Nothing was broken except the fan itself and some super-toxic CFL bulbs!
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fukkake 2 years ago on 05/25/12
Equipped: Cockblast of Vengence named "Crotchfire!"
Dr. Taylor Lay said:
Steph, we were so close to our dream of eloping to the Hobo Isles. So....close...


I failed us Baby! I am so sorry ;____;
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trampersand 2 years ago on 05/25/12
Equipped: Radtaculous Glove of POWWWEER named "this glove has gone where you never will."
A light fixture at Google apparently fell on someone's table and exploded. It wasn't Jon's. Steph, we suck at this assassination business.
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nomad 2 years ago on 05/25/12
Equipped: Cockblast of Vengence named "A burst of rainbow fruit flavor in your mouth"
About maybe 6 months ago Im walking in the mall parking and I ear a LOUD crash... I look over and about 3 rows down from where I had parked a lamp-post fell on like 3 cars... amazingly no one was near the thing when it fell, it would have meant certain death.

About a week ago some poor soul was walking downtown when bricks latched off a building and fell right on him and put him in a coma. It really puts things in perspective about how you're here one second and could be gone the next.
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lilmissGRIND 2 years ago on 05/26/12
Equipped: A Really Sharp Pointy Thing named "the king has been found"
nomad said:
About maybe 6 months ago Im walking in the mall parking and I ear a LOUD crash... I look over and about 3 rows down from where I had parked a lamp-post fell on like 3 cars... amazingly no one was near the thing when it fell, it would have meant cert...


Also, how man-made things are shitty. People think i'm crazy when i get concerned about stuff like that, but it happens.

The fan above our bed makes me nervous sometimes, but where the placement is, I don't think it would do too much damage if it were to get stupid on us. John, I'm so glad you're ok! yay for laziness!

My dad says that God/laziness/SportsTalk980 saved his life because he arrived at the Shoppers grocery store 4 minutes after the first sniper shooting happened a few years ago. My stepmom was trying to make him go sooner, but he wanted to listen to some story really quick. They live right down the street from Shoppers, so it takes less than 2 minutes to drive there.

Moderator John Booty Says:

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Kumba 2 years ago on 05/28/12
Equipped: Most Amazing Thing Ever!!!! named "Silmarils, gems of treelight"
lilmissGRIND said:
The fan above our bed makes me nervous sometimes, but where the placement is, I don't think it would do too much damage if it were to get stupid on us.

If the fan wobbles, especially at low speeds, then it's off-balance and the mounting in the ceiling should be checked for signs of wear or stress. Wobbling can be fixed by hunting down small weights to stick on the backside of the blades to balance it out.

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