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Fatty Talk “Does anyone eat smoked oysters?” by Moonage Daydream

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Moonage Daydream 7 years ago on 11/08/14
Equipped: Link's Boomerang named "I wish I knew how to quit you"
I don't think I've ever met anyone besides me who goes to the grocery store and buys smoked oysters and eats them. I still don't get how we started eating oysters, it must have been like, dude was on a shipwreck island and starving and an oyster popped open and he was like "It's this or the void!" I guess that could lead to smoking oysters because then it's like "Let's defer the decision to eat this viscous glob three weeks until it has come out the other side of the smokehouse!"

Who eats these fucking things? What's wrong with us? It's a fucking weird food, it's like if there was a smoky gambling basement in a Vietnamese restaurant and you knew the right words, they might let you into the weird back room where people eat this shit
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Barney Stinson 7 years ago on 11/09/14
Equipped: Handcuffs named "For Police Chief Marth, controllin anime hooligans"
ME! I do! And I looooove them. But only the super petite ones. I'm not a fan of the large ones, so I really hope the gambling basement doesn't ask me to eat a large one to get a seat at the pai-gow table.
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Moonage Daydream 7 years ago on 11/09/14
Equipped: Link's Boomerang named "I wish I knew how to quit you"
I would eat a smoked oyster the size of a fucking grapefruit
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domminess 7 years ago on 11/11/14
Equipped: Box of Crayons named "I FREAKING LOVE COLORING"
I've actually never had the smoked ones, only fried or raw. Maybe I should try them out.
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Moonage Daydream 7 years ago on 11/14/14
Equipped: Link's Boomerang named "I wish I knew how to quit you"
You can if you want, but let me warn you, they're really weird

They have the color of baby diarrhea, the texture of steamed chicken liver, and the taste of smoked cottonseed oil

Are smoked oysters the American version of, like, lutefisk or hakarl? I can't wait to be that old man at the end of the bar eating smoked oysters, drinking malort and scaring people off with Tales Of How The World Really Works
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domminess 7 years ago on 11/21/14
Equipped: Box of Crayons named "I FREAKING LOVE COLORING"
Man I almost picked up a tin at Trader Joe's when I made my giant grocery binge this Thursday. I may go back and buy them anyways because for like under two bucks it's not a bad experiment.
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Moonage Daydream 7 years ago on 11/23/14
Equipped: Link's Boomerang named "I wish I knew how to quit you"
It isn't a bad experiment! Maybe you will discover something new you like for two or three bucks, and if you hate them, that's a story for story night

I got drunk and ordered a case of smoked oysters off Amazon, along with a case of smoked mussels. If you like smoked oysters, smoked mussels are quite interesting! They have more texture and chew. Mussels have that rubber band edge, you know. They also have a little funk, like some kind of funk that is unique to mussels.

Basically, my sales pitch for smoked mussels is "Do you wished smoked oysters tasted more funky and were chewy like rubber bands?"
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Barney Stinson 7 years ago on 11/27/14
Equipped: Handcuffs named "For Police Chief Marth, controllin anime hooligans"
How many tins to a case??
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Moonage Daydream 7 years ago on 12/03/14
Equipped: Link's Boomerang named "I wish I knew how to quit you"
I think like 18 tins

Basically, enough that I'm kind of over the whole thing
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Barney Stinson 7 years ago on 12/05/14
Equipped: Handcuffs named "For Police Chief Marth, controllin anime hooligans"
Damn. Did you finish them all? I want some. :x
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Moonage Daydream 7 years ago on 02/12/15
Equipped: Link's Boomerang named "I wish I knew how to quit you"
I ate more smoked oysters tonight and I closed my eyes and I think that the magic is that they taste like a combination of the old sea, a campfire and weird neighbors that eat weird things you can't get at home
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Barney Stinson 7 years ago on 02/16/15
Equipped: Handcuffs named "For Police Chief Marth, controllin anime hooligans"
YUM

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Nostalgia 7 years ago on 04/14/15
Equipped: Cursed Videotape. Seven days starting.... NOW. named "Cursed Videotape. Seven days starting.... NOW."
A tin of smoked oysters, a sleeve of ritz crackers, and a 40 ounce bottle of something disgusting is my home alone guilty pleasure meal. Once I'm out of oysters I soak the crackers in the oyster juice and chase it with a swill of malt liquor and self loathing.

Moderator Barney Stinson Says:

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Moonage Daydream 7 years ago on 04/18/15
Equipped: Link's Boomerang named "I wish I knew how to quit you"
Nostalgia said:
Once I'm out of oysters I soak the crackers in the oyster juice


Nostalgia said:
Once I'm out of oysters I soak the crackers in the oyster juice


Nostalgia said:
Once I'm out of oysters I soak the crackers in the oyster juice


Nostalgia said:
Once I'm out of oysters I soak the crackers in the oyster juice


Nostalgia said:
Once I'm out of oysters I soak the crackers in the oyster juice

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