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Laurana

Buster Machine No. 10034
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About Laurana

Age: 37
Gender: F
Location: Hampton, VA

Joined: 11 years ago on 03/12/07
Last Visit: 5 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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  • You've viewed their Profile 3435 times
Would You Hit It? Would Laurana?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“I heart lesbians and I have a cat that is a ghetto princess.”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

What do you do for fun?

“I play pool, I drink, I go to concerts and hang out with my friends.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“Accounting...yay”

What's your dream job?

“Demonologist”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“umm...Something funny I have done...I don't know, lets drink and make new memories”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“I'm here to stalk John Booty”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Anyone that will have a good time with me =)”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“I'm to much of a nympho for that XD”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“again...I don't know really”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“NO COUNTRY. Metal, Rock, Pop, Folk...”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“I might be in the wrong place...”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“I went to one with some friends, Nekocon I think, but I don't know about future ones”

Into games? List your favorites!

“DDR, DAOC”

Other Online Gaming Info

“Used to play DAOC”

Jaeger Assignment

Laurana is currently piloting STALWART JUGGERNAUT with ash

STALWART JUGGERNAUT's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Manticore's Punch of Salvation
  • Rambunctious Fist Wedgie Barrage

DOSSIER: Job is to unleash lightning-like offense designed to pulverize the Kaiju by fingerbanging their brains. Top-secret whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Magical Rumble, a plan to use an experimental, new concentrated energy blast to end Obamacare. May be vulnerable to emotions. Perhaps that one of its most controversial moments of the war occured during Operation Resilient Asskicking when the pilots sacrificed countless condemned criminals in order to save money on car insurance. Everybody agrees: these pilots are erotic and like nothing better than to smash some Kaiju faces.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Parented by some serious assholes in the tranquil slums of Dayton. Somewhat devastated by the conversion to Islam of grandmother at one really bizarre county fair. At an early age, showed no promise for not being a total fuck-up, but struggled with with not slaughtering literally every living being she encountered. It was at the age of 6 that she had her entire body replaced by cyborg components. Reluctantly spent the next several hours getting her ass kicked in a filthy alley. Each withering yeast infection was a step toward the kind of shit that her heart yearned for.

Schooled in a den of thieves where she studied Eastern religion, where it soon became apparent that she was literally drunk the entire time, twenty-four hours a day.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her debut fight against a kaiju was a delightful success despite killing her best friend. Thanks to her efforts, most of the city was saved and the rest was covered in blood.

In the aftermath of the grueling clusterfuck, pilot was immediately promoted to the newly-created title of Lord Not-To-Be-Fucked-With by that guy nobody really talked to but apparently had the power to promote people, so whatever.

"The thing is," says her commander, "She'd be a lot better at embracing my love if she stopped being an asshole. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: Is gonna run this whole goddamn army someday.

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