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Maxwell's Silver Hammer

Buster Machine No. 10049
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About Maxwell's Silver Hammer

Age: 36
Gender: M
Location: Smithtown, NY

Joined: 13 years ago on 03/12/07
Last Visit: 3 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

Public Photos

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  • You've viewed their Profile 3775 times
Would You Hit It? Would Maxwell's Silver Hammer?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Losers have friends. Winners have the internet.”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

What do you do for fun?

“Read, watch movies, play guitar, listen to music, bake cookies (the best chocolate chip you ever ate!), nothing, etc. Free time is something of a stranger to me these days.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“Medical Supply Transport Technician”

What's your dream job?

“Actor - my dream roles are Roger from "Rent", Pippin from "Pippin", and Jekyll/Hyde from "Jekyll and Hyde". that, or homicidal maniac. Tough call.”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I told a joke. It was hilarious. I also own(ed?) a squeeky plastic "Spooky" doll from jhonen vasquez's "I Feel Sick" comic. I miss that thing.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?


What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Person, or people? Anyone who's not a complete asshole. ”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“They're tough, and only the truly, truly devoted can make them work. But i suppose it could be worth a try.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Berserk, Rurouni Kenshin, Bleach, GTO, most Miyazaki movies, Scrapped Princess, Samurai 7, Akira, cliche anime #792, Samurai Champloo, Fullmetal Alchemist. I've nnot really watched much anime in recent months, though...”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“It jumps around a bit, but i tend to listen most often to power metal, a la blind guardian, helloween, Iron Maiden, Kamelot, Avantasia, things like that. I'm also a big fan of the Decemberists, and they're the only band i've paid to go see repeatedly”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“I like watching anime, reading manga and playing video games. i think that about sums that *that* question up.”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Resident Evil 4, Okami, Several Final Fantasys, Devil May Cry, House of the Dead (2), Castlevania SOTN, Shadow Hearts (2),the list goes on and on and on and on.....”

Jaeger Assignment

Maxwell's Silver Hammer is currently piloting CURSED COWBOY with Magentaa

CURSED COWBOY's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Billion-Strike Attack
  • Groin-Mounted Needle of Despair

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to attack Kaiju and supply courageous repair services to soldiers. May be vulnerable to melancholy. Everybody agrees: these pilots are drunken and nobody questions their dedication to alcohol tolerance.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a famous CEO. Father was deeply in love with her. Somewhat affected by the conversion to Islam of his hamster at the age of three. At an early age, showed no promise for being able to walk in a straight line, but struggled with with potty training. It was at the age of 19 that he discovered bathing. Each sexual moment was a step toward the true mastery of self-control that his parents expected from him.

Unlocked his inner unicorn at M.I.T. where he studied forbidden knowledge, where it soon became apparent that he was probably destined to be homeless. With a fighting style that combined the sexual prowess of a drunken sailor with never-before-seen speed, termed "Elegant Elephant Style", he soon gained the sensitive touchings of nudists.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his debut fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent failure despite infuriating his mother. Due to his actions, most of the city was destroyed and the rest was consumed by Biebermania.

Refusing to get a clue, he dedicated himself to totally wussing out whenever possible and has no fucking idea what he's doing.

"Listen up, rookie, you can study the training videos all day long," says one homeless guy on a park bench. "But when you're actually out there partying, and somebody offers you a beer you better forget everything Mommy said and react to the life or death situation no matter how high you are. If you don't, the Earth is fucked. And trust me, this is one soldier who has mastered that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Can excel with a little love.

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