subtlemantra is currently piloting BEARDED COURAGE with Literary Flux
BEARDED COURAGE's special combat abilities are known to include:
Nimble Foot Headbutt
Drowsy Ear Strike
DOSSIER: Primary function is to unleash overwhelming offense designed to embarrass the Kaiju by slaughtering their brains. During the Battle Of Texas, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to unleash devastating attacks while simultaneously displaying outstanding choice of personal grooming habits. One thing is certain: these pilots are terrifying and have one purpose, which is to punch some Kaiju assholes.
MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a loving parent. Father was the kind of guy who didn't merely shit the bed - he rolled around in it as well.. Life was transformed permanently when nipples were seduced by assassins. It was at the age of 19 that he discovered bathing. Each suprisingly filthy fuck-up was a step closer to the ultimate revenge that that his sense of honor demanded.
Actually managed to finally make make a friend despite being addicted to blowjobs because of his immense determination. With a fighting style that combined the aroma of a seasoned expert with depressingly inconsistent speed, termed "Ferocious Monkey Style", he soon gained the praise of pretty much everybody.
During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his debut fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked success despite impregnating a bunch of innocent bystanders. Thanks to his efforts, most of the city was destroyed and the rest was pretty fucked-up to begin with so who cares really.
In the aftermath of the heroic but sort of misguided clusterfuck, pilot was angrily promoted to bat boy for the Mets by a particularly gentlemanly hobo who wondered that all the ruckus was about.
"The thing is," says his commander, "He'd be a lot better at saving the Earth if he stopped being an asshole. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"
Psyche eval recommendation: A rare blend of sensuality and passion.
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