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Brutal Brandon

Buster Machine No. 10136
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About Brutal Brandon

Age: 37
Gender: M
Location: Warwick, RI

Joined: 13 years ago on 03/16/07
Last Visit: 7 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

Public Photos

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Woe to you, o' earth and sea, for the devil brings the beast with wrath, because he knows the time is short.”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

What do you do for fun?

“Random things. Video games. Playing guitar. Getting drunk. Driving to places I've never been. Meeting people I've never met before. <3”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“Whatever I feel like doing. But mostly babysitting a gas pump.”

What's your dream job?

“Pilioting a robot to free my family in the colonies from the earth's opressive grasp.”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I pwn you. Rofflecopter Lollerskates. I also have a Darth Vader cutout in a cowboy hat.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?


What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Awesome people. And their awesome friends. Mayber robots, maids, or somekind of sexy robot maid lady.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“Not so awesome as you know, seeing someone you like every other day or whatnot.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Hokuto No Ken, Overman King Gainer, Rahxephon, Gad Guard, Speed Grapher, Negima!, Claymore, Black Cat, Battle Royale, Busou Renkin, Jojo's Bizzare Adventure, Death Note, REBORN! Astral Engine, ONE PIECE, Ichigo 100%, BECK, D-Gray Man, and robots <”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“METAL! Hardcore, punk, classic rock, techno, etc. 2DX MUSIC MIRITE?”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“Watching animu, reading manga, pointing out hideously inproportionate cosplay =D”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“Animu Boston, maybe Otakon. Maryland </3”

Into games? List your favorites!

“MOTHER! FUCKING RIGHT. MY OTHER FAV STARTS WITH A 2 AND ENDS IN A DX. Srsly, I like lots of games. Chances are something you like, I like too.”

Other Online Gaming Info

“WOW. I'm either a sexy blood elf paladin, or a handsome troll shaman <3”

Jaeger Assignment

Brutal Brandon is currently piloting UNTAMED BASTARD with YeahOK

UNTAMED BASTARD's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Three-Way Machine Gun of Salvation
  • Luck Headbutt

DOSSIER: Job is to perform furious offense intended to confuse the Kaiju by fingerbanging their emotions. Top-secret scuttlebutt indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Secret Storm, a plan to use a game-changing, new fried chicken recipe to hopefully end this war for human survival. One thing is certain: these pilots are terrifying and nobody questions their dedication to general cleanliness.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Robot family provided a strict diet of unconditional love and acceptance... and and beatings. At an early age, showed great aptitude for being able to walk in a straight line, but struggled with with discipline. It was at the age of 23 that he swore revenge. Reluctantly spent the next several years battling for his life in a filthy comic book store. Each surpising moment was a step away from the ultimate revenge that his heart yearned for.

Played first base for the Mets despite refusing to talk about anything besides collecting Pokemon because his mother forced him to.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his debut fight against a kaiju was a delightful affair despite infuriating everybody in the Western Hemisphere. Classified intel indicates most of the town was destroyed and the rest was a goddamn mess.

In the aftermath of the heroic but sort of misguided clusterfuck, pilot was angrily promoted to Head Badass by God himself.

"Buddy, you can read the textbooks all day long," says one commanding officer. "But when you're actually out there trying to save the Earth, and you have an unexpected orgasm you better forget everything he taught you and adapt to the crazy situation right in front of you. If you don't, you're fucked. And trust me, this is one soldier who totally gets that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs copious amounts of coddling.

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