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Buster Machine No. 10264
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About Malkiah

Age: 38
Gender: M
Location: Chicago, IL

Joined: 13 years ago on 03/19/07
Last Visit: 48 days ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

Public Photos

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  • You've viewed their Profile 3828 times
Would You Hit It? Would Malkiah?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Oh my stars and garters!”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

What do you do for fun?

“Going to heavy metal concerts, genetically engineering an army of radioactive lobster-men.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I work in an inner-city hospital as a CNA/EMT. Working to get my RN with my GI Bill. ”

What's your dream job?

“I plan on returning to the Navy as a Nurse Officer.”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I could write paragraphs of some of the crazy crap I did at various ports during my overseas deployments.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?


What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Someone who can think for themselves! Also being a nerd would help.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“Been in a few. Not a fan. There's a damn good reason 80% of navy marriages end in divorce. But there's always that 20% success rate that makes it worth trying.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Hellsing, Lodoss War, Death Note, Evangelion, Bleach, Full Metal Panic, Ergo Proxy, Elfen Lied, X/1999, Ghost in the Shell, Gurren Lagann, FLCL, and JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION! GET IN THE CAR!”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Heavy metal. I'm a rocker. I also enjoy death metal, black metal, speed metal, J Metal, classic metal, progressive metal, and classical.”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“Watching anime. Warhammer and other miniatures. Pathfinder tabletop, Collecting sharp instruments of death and dismemberment (and the occasional blunt ones). Comic books.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“ACEN, Fangoria, Wizard World, Origins, Gen Con.”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Team Fortress 2, Mass Effect, Bioshock, Half-Life, World of Warcraft, Final Fantasies, Shadow Hearts, Metal Gear, Neverwinter Nights, Dawn of War, Guitar Hero, Xenosaga, Star Ocean Series.”

Steam Nickname


Other Online Gaming Info

“Team Fortress 2, Kill Team, Champions Online, SWTOR”

Jaeger Assignment

Malkiah is currently piloting CHEETAH BEEFCAKE with DoomMonky

CHEETAH BEEFCAKE's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Undaunted Blast
  • Critical Needle

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to upset Kaiju and supply helpful counseling services to basically anybody who asks. Impervious to bad advice. Perhaps that one of its most infamous moments of the war occured during Operation Defiant Hercules when the pilots sacrificed several thousand condemned criminals in order to save a fellow Jaeger pilot. One known drawback of this Jaeger type is that under very rare circumstances it will act like a total asshole if the pilots don't really have their shit together. Everybody agrees: these pilots are drunken and live to take a huge shit on some Kaiju friends.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a sexy robot. Father was a brillian scientist. Existence didn't really change much when goldfish were kidnapped by ninjas. It was at the age of 19 that he had his entire body replaced by cyborg components. Spent the next several hours doing nothing in a filthy abandoned rest stop. Each grueling yeast infection was a step closer to the kind of shit that that his sense of honor demanded.

Schooled at Oxford where he studied economics, where it soon became apparent that he was probably destined to be homeless.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his debut fight against a kaiju was a splendid failure despite "accidentally" killing everybody in the Western Hemisphere. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju a code name of "Ass Chuckle" which meant nobody really took it seriously, despite the fact that it was actually pretty tough.

Deciding to finally show a regard for common sense or even reality itself, he re-dedicated himself to becoming a sassy black woman and are kicking ass at that, as we all expected.

"Buddy, you can study the training videos all you want," says one homeless guy on a park bench. "But when you're actually out there trying to save the Earth, and somebody offers you a beer you better forget everything you think you know and adapt to the new situation right in front of you. If you don't, basically everybody is going to die. And trust me, this is one soldier who totally gets that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Just wants to be loved.

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