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Buster Machine No. 10289
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About emkay

Age: 32
Gender: F
Location: Seattle, WA

Joined: 14 years ago on 03/20/07
Last Visit: 5 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

Public Photos

View all public photos... (7 total)

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Did You Know?
  • You've viewed their Profile 5606 times
Would You Hit It? Would emkay?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“I love the color of it all.”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

What do you do for fun?

“Drinking, etc.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I work customer support for a tech company. I love my job more than I like most people, which is funny since all I do is deal with people. ”

What's your dream job?

“Beer or ice cream taste tester. Alternatively, the person that makes a list of appropriate music for commercials (this is a real job holy shit). ”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“A while back, I mistakenly said "beer is how I feel about that". After a bit of meditating on the phrase, I have come to own it and, most of the time, agree with it. ”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?


What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“I'm here to stalk John Booty”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Music nerds, art nerds, book nerds. I'm pretty open to people as long as they don't have that sociopath-like awkward aura. ”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“No. With friends, though, it'd be fine! I send some pretty amazing pen pal letters. If you want a grade-a excellent letter exchanger, look no further!”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“I can't really say that I have any. I had a sordid teenage past full of it, but I grew away from it (and into other nerdy things). I will always have a soft spot for FLCL, though.”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“I am incredibly into music, and there's too little space here to talk about it. Some of my favorites are: The Notwist, The Long Winters, The New Pornographers, The Mountain Goats, The Go! Team, Why?, Surfer Blood...”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“Board games? ”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“I'm not too big on cons. I went to anime expo a few times when I was a teenager. Not that they're bad, they're just expensive, huge, and kind of smelly. I'd rather hang out with people in smaller venues.”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Cards Against Humanity, Scrabble, Ascension, Bang!, Eldritch Horror (not Arkham though, ugh), Shadow Hunters, Hex Hex. I'm not into those intense, hours-long games, but I'm pretty competitive, so I could be convinced.”

Steam Nickname


Other Online Gaming Info

“None now, mainly due to the fact that my only computer is a dinky netbook and I am not much of a video game person. ”

Jaeger Assignment

emkay is currently piloting EAGLE RUFFIAN with Cinderella

EAGLE RUFFIAN's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Magnificent Elbow Wedgie
  • Labia-Mounted Chainsaw

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to supply ferocious massages to other Jaegers, even during the frenzy of full-force brawls. We can safely say historians will eventually salute the pilots for their role in Operation Flagrant Sword, during which most of Chicago was destroyed in an effort to ...well, for no apparent reason, but it looked really cool. One thing is certain: these pilots are seriously bad-ass and have one purpose, which is to fingerbang some Kaiju emotions.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a famous CEO. Father was a drug lord. Existence threw a fucking curveball when nipples were kidnapped by her little brother. It was at the age of 5 that she discovered bathing. Soon, she mastered the art of mayhem. Each suprisingly filthy beat-down was a step toward being less of an asshole that her heart yearned for.

Educated at Sweet Valley High where she studied economics, where it soon became apparent that she was a true genius. With a fighting style that combined the sexual prowess of a bull with sizzling speed, termed "Ferocious Armadillo Style", she soon gained the admiration of perverts all over the world.

She soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking her way into a Jaeger, her debut fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent crowd-pleaser despite falling in love with her best friend. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju with unmatched power and ferocity.

Refusing to rest on her laurels, she dedicated herself to shaving her pubes and is basically doing alright.

Jealous people have described her Jaeger tactics style as "weak-ass weaksauce", while people who actually know what she's talking about have described it as "the kind of thing legends are made of" and "some of the most heroic mayhem since Arnold Schwartzeneggar ravaged nipples everywhere."

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs copious amounts of coddling.

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