Uppity Negress

Age: 32
Gender: F
Location: Atlanta, GA

Joined: 11 years ago on 03/28/07
Last Visit: 2 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 1114 days from now

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Uppity Negress is currently piloting TINGLE SLEDGEHAMMER with taiki

TINGLE SLEDGEHAMMER's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Crimson Bash
• Torrential Crossbow of Joyfulness

DOSSIER: Avoids direct combat and prefers to support civilians by upgrading their sexual power. Classified rumors indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Rainbow Rumble, a plan to use an unbelievable, ancient doomsday device to hopefully end erectile dysfunction. May be vulnerable to melancholy. Certainly that one of its most celebrated moments of the war occured during Operation Unyielding Sword when the pilots sacrificed two or three leading scientists in order to save a fellow Jaeger pilot. The only question facing these pilots, who are simmering with sexual tension, is this: can they kick the Kaiju without destroying each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Parented by robots in the idyllic foothills of an average American small town. Life threw a fucking curveball when nipples were eaten by her little brother. It was at the age of 6 that she stopped being a huge pussy. As time progressed, she mastered the techniques of flower arranging. Each joyful day was a step away from the kind of shit that that her sense of honor demanded.

Mentored by the greatest Jaeger pilot of all time despite being addicted to blowjobs because sometimes life is crazy like that.

During one drunken night, she stole a Jaeger and her debut fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent success despite killing everybody in the Western Hemisphere. According to survivors, most of the city was saved and the rest was pretty fucked-up to begin with so who cares really.

Following the grueling Kaiju battle, pilot was reluctantly promoted to Chief Asskicker by a guy that wandered in off of the street and was pretty much just into promoting people.

So-called experts have described her partying style as "second-rate dick-slapping", while others have described it as "awesome" and "some of the most heroic stuff since Gen. George Patton invaded my face."

Psyche eval recommendation: Can excel with a little love.