The Operator is currently piloting BEARDED STALLION with Agata
BEARDED STALLION's special combat abilities are known to include:
Mustache-Mounted Shield of Blood
Penis-Mounted Sword of Destruction
DOSSIER: Likes to help soldiers by multiplying their sexual power. One known drawback of this Jaeger type is that it tends to blind everybody in a one-mile radius, pretty much ruining their lives, pretty much any time you even look at it. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are seriously bad-ass and nobody questions their dedication to oral hygiene.
MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Raised by robots in the peaceful foothills of an average American small town. At an early age, showed much promise for being able to walk in a straight line, but struggled with with chapped nipple. It was at the age of 19 that he swore revenge. Reluctantly spent the next several years trying to get laid in a filthy abandoned rest stop. Each grueling lesson was a step toward the triumph that most people would stay the fuck away from.
Played first base for the Mets despite being addicted to blowjobs because of his burning passion to succeed.
He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his first fight against a kaiju was a splendid triumph despite "accidentally" killing a bunch of innocent bystanders. Thanks to his efforts, most of the city was saved and the rest was pretty happy about it.
Following the touching Kaiju battle, pilot was reluctantly promoted to Head Badass by by popular demand.
"Listen up, rookie, you can study the training videos all you want," says one commanding officer. "But when you're actually out there with a dick in your ass, and somebody offers you a beer you better forget everything you think you know and react to the fucked-up situation no matter how high you are. If you don't, the Earth is fucked. And trust me, this is one soldier who totally gets that."
Psyche eval recommendation: Will perform if given enough gummi bears.
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