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Buster Machine No. 10623
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About Tawanos

Age: 34
Gender: M
Location: Washington, DC

Joined: 13 years ago on 04/01/07
Last Visit: 7 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

Public Photos

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Would You Hit It? Would Tawanos?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“HELLO! My name is Alex, I'm 27, and just about the happiest person you will meet. Or not. It really depends on if you meet me or not. I'm completely open so if anyone wants to send me e-mails then they can go for it. Contact me any time.”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

What do you do for fun?

“I love sailing and flying kites. Reading and writing are also great passtimes for me.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“Working at a soul sucking retail job at a toy store while trying to set up my own gaming store.”

What's your dream job?

“Sign Language Translator and Science Fiction Writer are tied for the top. Though if I can't get either then I'd go for PIRATE!”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I will take one of my hammocks sometimes and hang them up in public locations. I have a golden whale weather vane and a coin older than Christianity.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Funny, outgoing, Someone who can at least try and match my nerd level and argue about comic books and D&D.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“I think they're ok, but I perfer physical contact to a voice over the phone.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Battle Angel Alita, Zombie Powder, Drifters, Project Arms, Toriko, One Piece, Eva, Bartender, Beelzebub”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Classical is my favorite, though I wil llisten to Techno, Punk, Rock, just about everything, I can't stand Rap though.”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“I play D&D, read a bunch of obscure manga, like Zombie Powder, Project Arms, Battle Angel, Drifters, Bartender, One Piece, tons of others. I also love Marvel Comics and some DC.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?


Into games? List your favorites!

“I love D&D, d20 Modern, and Vampire the Masquerade. Monopoly is also pretty Kick ass.”

Jaeger Assignment

Tawanos is currently piloting DIVINE LION with Dobby

DIVINE LION's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Ear-Mounted Halberd
  • Orgasmic Bliss Jump-Kick Tantrum

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to supply perilous blowjobs to basically anybody who asks, even during the heartbreak of full-force brawls. Certainly that one of its most controversial moments of the war occured during Operation Unyielding Rumble when the pilots sacrificed many orphans in order to save a couple of beat-up Chevy Malibus. One known drawback of this Jaeger type is that it tends to act like a total asshole if either pilot is Mexican, which is really racist if you think about it. The only question facing these pilots, who have been friends since childhood, is this: can they smash the Kaiju without destroying each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Raised by monks in the peaceful foothills of New York. Life didn't really change much when parents were fellated by creepy street artists. It was at the age of 23 that he reached puberty. Decided to spend the next several hours battling for his life in a filthy basement. Each joyful yeast infection was a step closer to the ultimate revenge that that his sense of honor demanded.

Slept with a village of hobos despite excessive body odor because of his burning passion to succeed. With a fighting style that combined the spirit of a seasoned expert with depressingly inconsistent brutality, termed "Invincible Tiger Style", he soon gained the erections of pretty much everybody.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his debut fight against a kaiju was a rousing failure despite annoying the shit out of basically everybody. According to survivors, most of the city was saved and the rest was covered in blood.

Refusing to learn a lesson, he re-dedicated himself to totally wussing out whenever possible and is basically doing alright.

"The thing is," says his commander, "He'd be a lot worse at piloting giant robots if he hugged a puppy once in a while. Ah, what are you going to do? Life is crazy like that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Is probably a fucking maniac.

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