SwingBlade

Age: 33
Gender: M
Location: Marietta, GA

Joined: 12 years ago on 04/08/07
Last Visit: 5 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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SwingBlade is currently piloting BEEFCAKE BEEFCAKE with spinkle

BEEFCAKE BEEFCAKE's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Mustache-Mounted Hockey Stick of Orgasmic Bliss
• Ear-Mounted Mallet

DOSSIER: Role is is to supply helpful repair services to friendly forces, even during the heartbreak of night-time battles. May be vulnerable to melancholy. We can safely say historians will eventually forgive the pilots for their role in Operation Stalwart Hercules, during which most of Texas was destroyed in an effort to relieve boredom. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are smoking hot and live to break some Kaiju emotions.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a good example of bio-engineering gone wrong. Father was deeply in love with her. At an early age, showed no promise for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with potty training. It was at the age of 6 that he had his entire body replaced by cyborg components. Each sexual day was a step closer to being less of an asshole that his heart yearned for.

Was accepted to Harvard despite refusing to talk about anything besides collecting Pokemon because sometimes life is crazy like that.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his first fight against a kaiju was a completely insane thing that legends are made of despite falling in love with his copilot. Due to his actions, most of the city was saved and the rest was a goddamn mess.

Refusing to finally show a regard for common sense or even reality itself, he dedicated himself to becoming even more of a badass and has no fucking idea what he's doing.

"The thing is," says his commander, "He'd be a lot worse at shit in general if he hugged a puppy once in a while. Ah, what are you going to do? Life is crazy like that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs more nipple touching.