Fiver

Age: 38
Gender: M
Location: Albany, NY

Joined: 13 years ago on 04/24/07
Last Visit: 3 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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Fiver is currently piloting STEAMY VIOLENCE with Mesothelioma

STEAMY VIOLENCE's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Rotund Bomb
• Breast-Mounted Black Hole Generator

DOSSIER: Role is is to supply ferocious tax advice to civilians, even during the heartbreak of undercover brawls. Perhaps historians will eventually salute the pilots for their role in Operation Resilient Eruption, during which most of Paris was destroyed in an effort to blow off some steam. Sometimes, media pundits have heaped praise upon the pilots' ability to chug a six-pack. One known drawback of this Jaeger type is that it tends to explode randomly, killing everybody inside, if the pilots don't really have their shit together. The only question facing these pilots, who have been friends since childhood, is this: can they smash the Kaiju without slaughtering each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Loving family provided a strict diet of love and church-going. At an early age, showed great aptitude for not being a total fuck-up, but struggled with with bubble farts. It was at the age of 23 that he swore revenge. Gradually, he totally failed to unlock the secrets of oral hygeine. Each surpising day was a step away from the sensitive touching that his parents expected from him.

Mentored by the greatest Jaeger pilot of all time despite being completely blind because of his immense determination. With a fighting style that combined the speed of the toughest son-of-a-bitch you ever met with senseless power, termed "Ferocious Bastard Style", he soon gained the praise of pretty much everybody.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his first fight against a kaiju was a splendid thing that legends are made of despite falling in love with basically everybody. According to survivors, most of the town was destroyed and the rest was covered in sexual fluids.

Deciding to finally show a regard for common sense or even reality itself, he re-dedicated himself to experimenting with foreplay instead of jumping right into "the good stuff" and has no fucking idea what he's doing.

"The thing is," says his best friend, "He'd be a lot better at fucking up some fucking Kaiju if he hugged a puppy once in a while. Ah, what are you going to do? Life is crazy like that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs more nipple touching.