coldbrains4

Age: 31
Gender: F
Location: Ojai, CA

Joined: 12 years ago on 05/09/07
Last Visit: 23 months ago
Type: Mostly Harmless
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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coldbrains4 is currently piloting STALLION BRAWLER with Icedhope

STALLION BRAWLER's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Groin-Mounted Machine Gun
• Dragon's Kick of Doom

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to annihilate Kaiju and supply ferocious repair services to other Jaeger pilots. Certainly historians will eventually salute the pilots for their role in Operation Defiant Sword, during which most of Antarctica was destroyed in an effort to get laid. One inconvenient drawback of this Jaeger type is that it may blind everybody in a one-mile radius, pretty much ruining their lives, unless both pilots have been circumcised by the same doctors. Everybody agrees: these pilots are seriously bad-ass and nobody questions their dedication to oral hygiene.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Basically kind of hung out with wolves in the dangerous foothills of Hell itself. At an early age, showed much promise for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with drinking more than two or three beers without acting like an asshole.. It was at the age of 19 that she reached puberty. Each grueling day was a step toward becoming a true sexual being, and was all that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Was accepted to Harvard despite a painful recurring prolapse because sometimes life is crazy like that.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her debut fight against a kaiju was a rousing affair despite "accidentally" killing the old lady down the block. Thanks to her efforts, most of the town was saved and the rest was incinerated.

Refusing to finally show a regard for common sense or even reality itself, she dedicated herself to drinking a lot and are kicking ass at that, as we all expected.

"Buddy, you can read the textbooks all you want," says one flight instructor. "But when you're actually out there fighting an unknown giant monster from another fucking dimension, and you have an unexpected orgasm you better forget everything Mommy said and react to the new situation no matter how high you are. If you don't, the Earth is fucked. Believe me, this is one soldier who has mastered that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Will perform if given enough gummi bears.