Daria

Age: 36
Gender: F
Location: Mount Holly, NJ

Joined: 12 years ago on 05/23/07
Last Visit: 12 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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Daria is currently piloting MASCULINE SHOCKER with john william

MASCULINE SHOCKER's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Hummingbird's Gauntlet
• Thousand-Dropkick Attack

DOSSIER: Job is to support friendly forces by augmenting their long-range detection capabilities. Frequently, the pilots' parents have been awestruck by the pilots' alcohol tolerance. One known drawback of this Jaeger type is that under very rare circumstances it will cause incurable cancer every so often. The only question facing these pilots, who are bitter ex-lovers, is this: can they break the Kaiju without fucking up each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Adopted by wolves in the dangerous foothills of Madagascar. Not all that aroused by the conversion to Islam of some shitty cat at the age of three. At an early age, showed much promise for not being a total fuck-up, but struggled with with potty training. It was at the age of 19 that she discovered bathing. Each joyful lesson was a step closer to the ultimate revenge that her heart yearned for.

Educated in a secret Buddhist temple where she studied some crazy advanced shit... I don't know, lasers or something... where it soon became apparent that she was literally drunk the entire time, twenty-four hours a day. With a fighting style that combined the lewdness of a tiger with drunkenly unpredictable sensuality, termed "Elegant Bastard Style", she soon gained the admiration of hippies.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her first fight against a kaiju was a splendid affair despite "accidentally" killing Whoopi Goldberg. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju that had absolutely zero friends.

Refusing to get a clue, she re-dedicated herself to opening her hearts to change and are kicking ass at that, as we all expected.

Haters have described her partying style as "amateur bullshit", while others have described it as "devastatingly effective" and "some of the coolest stuff since gonhorrea ravaged all of my friends."

Psyche eval recommendation: Could save us all someday.