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indiana

Buster Machine No. 11811
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About indiana

Age: 35
Gender: F
Location: New York, NY

Joined: 13 years ago on 05/24/07
Last Visit: 11 years ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Jaeger Assignment

indiana is currently piloting ALLURING PASSION with Voyager

ALLURING PASSION's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Untamed Butt Jump-Kick
  • Sexy Bomb Inferno

DOSSIER: Role is is to destroy Kaiju and supply suicidally-insane massages to other Jaegers. Top-secret rumors indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Magical Nightmare, a plan to use a fucked-up, new atomic missile to hopefully end inflation. Certainly that one of its most infamous moments of the war occured during Operation Resilient Cumberbatch when the pilots sacrificed several thousand leading scientists in order to save some dude's record collection. At times, other Jaeger pilots have expressed concern over the pilots' alcohol tolerance. One rumored drawback of this Jaeger type is that under very rare circumstances it will cause incurable cancer just when the pilots are starting to have fun. The only question facing these pilots, who are simmering with sexual tension, is this: can they break the Kaiju without murdering each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Adopted by mongooses in the peaceful slums of an average American small town. At an early age, showed much promise for playing the piano, but struggled with with bubble farts. It was at the age of 23 that she reached puberty. Each withering day was a step away from the sensitive touching that that her sense of honor demanded.

Slept with a village of hobos despite being addicted to blowjobs because of her burning passion to succeed.

She soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking her way into a Jaeger, her debut fight against a kaiju was a rousing failure despite infuriating Whoopi Goldberg. Due to her actions, most of the city was destroyed and the rest was full of ungrateful assholes.

Following the heroic but sort of misguided Kaiju battle, pilot was reluctantly promoted to bat boy for the Mets by pretty much the only other person that was still alive.

Experts have described her robot piloting style as "embarrassing ass-grabbing", while mostly everybody else has described it as "brutally effecient" and "some of the most heroic Jaeger piloting since gonhorrea invaded all of my friends."

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs more nipple touching.

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