Dart-Chan

Age: 33
Gender: F
Location: Cheltenham, PA

Joined: 12 years ago on 05/24/07
Last Visit: 8 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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Dart-Chan is currently piloting SPECTACULAR KRAKEN with GuyOnCouch

SPECTACULAR KRAKEN's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Amazing Head Strike
• Thousand-Uppercut Orgy

DOSSIER: Role is is to supply much-needed massages to other Jaeger pilots, even during the frenzy of covert lovemaking. Certainly that one of its most controversial moments of the war occured during Operation Unyielding Derelict when the pilots sacrificed several thousand leading scientists in order to save this one guy nobody even likes. At times, the pilots' parents have envied the pilots' intensity. The only question facing these pilots, who nobody has ever fucking heard of before, is this: can they smash the Kaiju without fingerbanging each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a travelling Gypsy. Father was a mild-mannered librarian. At an early age, showed no promise for being able to walk in a straight line, but struggled with with potty training. It was at the age of 5 that she swore revenge. Each withering day was a step toward becoming a true sexual being, and was all that that her sense of honor demanded.

Slept with a village of hobos despite a total lack of bowel control because her mother forced her to. With a fighting style that combined the gassy outbursts of a scampering ferret with depressingly inconsistent levels of violence, termed "Invincible Tiger Style", she soon gained the praise of top-notch motherfuckers from around the world.

She soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking her way into a Jaeger, her first fight against a kaiju was a completely insane triumph despite falling in love with her copilot. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju that had killed some pretty tough bastards in the past.

In the aftermath of the grueling Kaiju battle, pilot was immediately promoted to bat boy for the Mets by her first grade teacher.

Critics have described her combat aptitude style as "second-rate bullshit", while others have described it as "awesome" and "some of the toughest Jaeger piloting since Bruce Lee invaded your mom."

Psyche eval recommendation: Does not meet expectations.