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Johnny Strider

Buster Machine No. 12029
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About Johnny Strider

Age: 30
Gender: M
Location: Philadelphia, PA

Joined: 7 years ago on 06/13/07
Last Visit: 8 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 110 days from now

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Would You Hit It? Would Johnny Strider?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“ALL HAIL KING NEPTUNE AND HIS WATER BREATHERS”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

What do you do for fun?

“Hang out, read, video games, drink, and if you catch me in a good mood: Top Rock.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“A bunch of freelance video work. Some shooting, some editing and a lot of drinking.”

What's your dream job?

“Working on the production team that does "Top Gear" that or herald of Galactus”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“Once built a six foot tall snow penis then convinced a roommate to give it a running tackle. You haven't lived till you've seen a dude get nearly crushed by 5ft of dong.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Here to make friends only”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Bonita, Bonita Applebum. Yo, she's gotta put me on”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“Not a fan, but props to those who can stick it out. ”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Too many to name or remember. Make this easy. Just ask me if I've seen it or not.”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“I'm all over the place right now. lately Indy rock and rap have been getting heavy play with random metal genres in a very close second.”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“I lost my internet access a while back and now I'm in the middle of playing catch up. Johnny NEEDS his giant robots.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“Nary a clue. I just kind of show up if I can.”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Action(God of War, Ultimate Alliance, Smash Bros), Fighting(Street Fighter, Guilty Gear, Tekken) and RPGs(Crono Trigger, Xenogears) ”

Jaeger Assignment

Johnny Strider is currently piloting MACHO RUFFIAN with threeZ

MACHO RUFFIAN's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Predictable Dildo
  • Nimble Head Kick of Joyfulness

DOSSIER: Role is to perform furious offense designed to destroy the Kaiju by murdering their friends. Top-secret rumors indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Resilient Diddler, a plan to use a fucked-up, ancient concentrated energy blast to decisively end struggle against Kaiju. Impervious to party drugs. During the Battle Of Atlanta, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to remain calm while simultaneously displaying outstanding sexual health. One thing is certain: these pilots are terrifying and nobody questions their dedication to combat effectivness.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Robot family provided a strict diet of unconditional love and acceptance... and and religion. At an early age, showed great aptitude for playing the piano, but struggled with with bubble farts. It was at the age of 19 that he had a sex change. Soon, he mastered the secrets of sexually transmitted diseases. Each suprisingly filthy beat-down was a step away from the ultimate revenge that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Was accepted to Harvard despite refusing to talk about anything besides collecting Pokemon because sometimes life is crazy like that.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his debut fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked failure despite falling in love with everybody in the Western Hemisphere. Classified intel indicates most of the city was destroyed and the rest was covered in blood.

In the aftermath of the heroic but sort of misguided Kaiju battle, pilot was reluctantly promoted to General by some motherfucker with a bunch of medals on his chest.

Haters have described his sensual kissing style as "weak-ass bullshit", while mostly everybody else has described it as "brutally effecient" and "some of the coolest stuff since Bruce Lee invaded most of my hometown."

Psyche eval recommendation: Does not meet expectations.

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