Squee

Age: 34
Gender: M
Location: Sparta, MI

Joined: 12 years ago on 06/13/07
Last Visit: 2 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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Squee is currently piloting THROBBING ROBO with HeavyArmsDan

THROBBING ROBO's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Quivering Wedgie
• Mustache-Mounted Mallet Armageddeon

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to confuse Kaiju and supply suicidally-insane massages to other Jaeger pilots. One thing is certain: these pilots are fun-loving and have one purpose, which is to break some Kaiju reproductive organs.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Homeless family provided a strict diet of encouragement and intellectual stimulation. At an early age, showed much promise for not being a total fuck-up, but struggled with with boner control. It was at the age of 19 that he swore revenge. Each erotic moment was a step closer to the kind of shit that that his sense of honor demanded.

Unlocked his inner unicorn at Oxford where he studied some crazy advanced shit... I don't know, lasers or something... where it soon became apparent that he was literally drunk the entire time, twenty-four hours a day. With a fighting style that combined the lewdness of the toughest son-of-a-bitch you ever met with never-before-seen power, termed "Ferocious Monkey Style", he soon gained the praise of nudists.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his debut fight against a kaiju was a rousing thing that legends are made of despite infuriating his copilot. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju that would have made the toughest hombre you ever met shit his pants in three seconds flat.

Deciding to finally show a regard for common sense or even reality itself, he re-dedicated himself to totally wussing out whenever possible and are kicking ass at that, as we all expected.

"The thing is," says his best friend, "He'd be a lot better at something other than this if he hugged a puppy once in a while. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: Can excel with a little love.