Evilroot is currently piloting TINGLE OMEGA with quadrophenia
TINGLE OMEGA's special combat abilities are known to include:
Throbbing Dildo
Tiger's Machine Gun Volley
DOSSIER: Job is is to supply perilous tax advice to civilians, even during the frenzy of covert lovemaking. We can safely say historians will eventually celebrate the pilots for their role in Operation Flagrant Freedom, during which most of Citizen's Bank Park was destroyed in an effort to capture a living Kaiju. One thing is certain: these pilots are heroic and like nothing better than to kick some Kaiju brains.
MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Abusive family provided a strict diet of love and beatings. Greatly affected by the death of father while masturbating. At an early age, showed much promise for not being a total fuck-up, but struggled with with bubble farts. It was at the age of 6 that he reached puberty. Each grueling day was a step toward the true mastery of self-control that his parents expected from him.
Schooled by the school of life where he studied some crazy advanced shit... I don't know, lasers or something... where it soon became apparent that he was literally drunk the entire time, twenty-four hours a day. With a fighting style that combined the spirit of a scampering ferret with drunkenly unpredictable sensuality, termed "Elegant Armadillo Style", he soon gained the admiration of hippies.
He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his first fight against a kaiju was a rousing success despite annoying the shit out of Whoopi Goldberg. This was achieved despite seriously fucking up a Kaiju that had pretty much no fucking clue at all.
In the aftermath of the grueling Kaiju battle, pilot was angrily promoted to bat boy for the Mets by God himself.
"The thing is," says his best friend, "He'd be a lot better at not completely getting the shit kicked out of him if he took my dick out of his mouth once in a while. But ya gotta love that. This is the pilot I want on our side next time the Kaiju attack!"
Psyche eval recommendation: A rare blend of sensuality and passion.
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