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Evilroot

Buster Machine No. 12075
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About Evilroot

Age: 36
Gender: M
Location: Raleigh, NC

Joined: 12 years ago on 06/15/07
Last Visit: 4 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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  • You've viewed their Profile 2730 times
Would You Hit It? Would Evilroot?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Just ignore the guy with the soldering iron . . . . . Evil Genuis at work.”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

What do you do for fun?

“I camp, hike, sail, study Wing Chun style kungfu, and do rock climbing and Kendo/Iaido. Plus reading and filling shelves with cheap books from the awesome used bookstore!”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“Surplus computer equipment by the palletload!”

What's your dream job?

“I'm already doing it!”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I once burnt off all the hair on my right arm in an unfortunate Bunsen Burner accident involving pure oxygen and FIRE . . . . ”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Someone with depth. You can be right next to for months and then suddenly realize that you still don't know at all. People I can't figure out!”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“Possible, but I try to avoid them . . . . physical contact is an important part of a serious relationship. There's just no substitute for waking up next to the girl you love.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Bebop, Evangelion, Bleach, ugh . . . . too many to list.”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“You name it . . . . anything but country and rap.”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“I work on fansubbing as an editor and translation checker, and try to keep up with whatever current anime releases interest me. Also a cosplay junkie, and go to whatever cons I have the time for!”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“Sakuracon, Otakon, AWA, Animazement and possibly others! Depends on how busy I am.”

Into games? List your favorites!

“EVE Online (The MMORPG for smart people!)”

Other Online Gaming Info

“EVE Online”

Jaeger Assignment

Evilroot is currently piloting TINGLE OMEGA with quadrophenia

TINGLE OMEGA's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Throbbing Dildo
  • Tiger's Machine Gun Volley

DOSSIER: Job is is to supply perilous tax advice to civilians, even during the frenzy of covert lovemaking. We can safely say historians will eventually celebrate the pilots for their role in Operation Flagrant Freedom, during which most of Citizen's Bank Park was destroyed in an effort to capture a living Kaiju. One thing is certain: these pilots are heroic and like nothing better than to kick some Kaiju brains.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Abusive family provided a strict diet of love and beatings. Greatly affected by the death of father while masturbating. At an early age, showed much promise for not being a total fuck-up, but struggled with with bubble farts. It was at the age of 6 that he reached puberty. Each grueling day was a step toward the true mastery of self-control that his parents expected from him.

Schooled by the school of life where he studied some crazy advanced shit... I don't know, lasers or something... where it soon became apparent that he was literally drunk the entire time, twenty-four hours a day. With a fighting style that combined the spirit of a scampering ferret with drunkenly unpredictable sensuality, termed "Elegant Armadillo Style", he soon gained the admiration of hippies.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his first fight against a kaiju was a rousing success despite annoying the shit out of Whoopi Goldberg. This was achieved despite seriously fucking up a Kaiju that had pretty much no fucking clue at all.

In the aftermath of the grueling Kaiju battle, pilot was angrily promoted to bat boy for the Mets by God himself.

"The thing is," says his best friend, "He'd be a lot better at not completely getting the shit kicked out of him if he took my dick out of his mouth once in a while. But ya gotta love that. This is the pilot I want on our side next time the Kaiju attack!"

Psyche eval recommendation: A rare blend of sensuality and passion.

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