Deathwing

Age: 26
Gender: M
Location: Tallahassee, FL

Joined: 7 years ago on 06/20/07
Last Visit: 3 days ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

View all public photos... (4 total)

• You've viewed their Profile 3979 times

[current user isn't logged in]

Deathwing is currently piloting LACTATING BRONX with Umister

LACTATING BRONX's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Billion-Nippletwister Armageddeon
• Seeping Caress

DOSSIER: Likes to help civilians by fortifying their party power. Classified scuttlebutt indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Unstoppable Hercules, a plan to use an unbelievable, ancient concentrated energy blast to end inflation. In the past, the pilots' parents have been awestruck by the pilots' dedication to asskicking. One inconvenient drawback of this Jaeger type is that under very rare circumstances it will blind everybody in a one-mile radius, pretty much ruining their lives, unless both pilots have been circumcised by the same doctors. One thing is certain: these pilots are drunken and nobody questions their dedication to masturbation habits.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a good example of bio-engineering gone wrong. Father was a homeless man. At an early age, showed great aptitude for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with discipline. It was at the age of 19 that he swore revenge. Each enchanting day was a step toward the bloody satisfaction that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Found himself at Oxford where he studied pretty much anything his voracious mind could consume, where it soon became apparent that he was a true genius. With a fighting style that combined the tendency toward inappropriate touching of the toughest son-of-a-bitch you ever met with senseless speed, termed "Elegant Bastard Style", he soon gained the sensitive touchings of some homeless guy.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his first fight against a kaiju was a fucked-up thing that legends are made of despite annoying the shit out of the old lady down the block. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju that had absolutely zero friends.

Refusing to rest on his laurels, he re-dedicated himself to square dancing and has no fucking idea what he's doing.

Haters have described his combat aptitude style as "amateur ass-grabbing", while others have described it as "brutally effecient" and "some of the coolest Jaeger piloting since Gen. George Patton ravaged a bus-load of orphaned babies."

Psyche eval recommendation: Will perform if given enough gummi bears.