Winter

Age: 33
Gender: M
Location: Washington, DC

Joined: 7 years ago on 08/14/07
Last Visit: 4 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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Winter is currently piloting BEEFCAKE TYPHOON with MikeHello

BEEFCAKE TYPHOON's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Fist-Mounted Battle-Axe
• Doom Blast of Retribution

DOSSIER: Role is is to supply suicidally-insane massages to civilians, even during the heartbreak of covert skirmishes. Perhaps that one of its most infamous moments of the war occured during Operation Erotic Sword when the pilots sacrificed nearly all of the Earth's orphans in order to save this one guy who turned out to not even really be that important. At times, other Jaeger pilots have been awestruck by the pilots' general cleanliness. One thing is certain: these pilots are admirable and nobody questions their dedication to intensity.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Abusive family provided a strict diet of love and intellectual stimulation. At an early age, showed much promise for being able to walk in a straight line, but struggled with with discipline. It was at the age of 5 that he had his entire body replaced by cyborg components. Decided to spend the next several hours getting his ass kicked in a hidden toy store. Each grueling day was a step away from the ultimate revenge that his heart yearned for.

Found himself in some homeless guy's alleyway where he studied whatever the fuck he felt like studying, where it soon became apparent that he was literally drunk the entire time, twenty-four hours a day.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his debut fight against a kaiju was a completely insane success despite impregnating a bunch of innocent bystanders. This was achieved despite seriously fucking up a Kaiju that had absolutely zero friends.

In the aftermath of the grueling clusterfuck, pilot was angrily promoted to potato peeler, first class by by popular demand.

Experts have described his combat aptitude style as "embarrassing bullshit", while others have described it as "basically his new religion" and "some of the most heroic stuff since Godzilla destroyed your mom."

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs more nipple touching.