devi331

Age: 36
Gender: F
Location: New Brunswick, NJ

Joined: 12 years ago on 08/19/07
Last Visit: 6 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

View all public photos... (9 total)

• You've viewed their Profile 6927 times

[current user isn't logged in]

devi331 is currently piloting AMAZING STALLION with Legato-iroppoi

AMAZING STALLION's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Luck Jump-Kick of Despair
• Audacious Taint Stomp

DOSSIER: Job is is to supply much-needed massages to other Jaegers, even during the frenzy of desperate combat. Classified whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Stalwart Asshole, a plan to use an unbelievable, secret fried chicken recipe to ensure struggle against Kaiju. Cannot be damaged by sensitive attacks. Often, experienced Jaeger pilots have been awestruck by the pilots' sexual health. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are admirable and nobody questions their dedication to oral hygiene.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Parented by robots in the tranquil swamps of Hell itself. Life didn't really change much when nipples were kidnapped by jealous bitches. It was at the age of 5 that she had her entire body replaced by cyborg components. As time progressed, she totally failed to unlock the techniques of mayhem. Each withering fuck-up was a step closer to becoming a true sexual being, and was all that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Slept with a village of hobos despite refusing to talk about anything besides collecting Pokemon because she was the one foretold by the prophecy.

During one drunken night, she stole a Jaeger and her first fight against a kaiju was a completely insane failure despite annoying the shit out of her best friend. Classified intel indicates most of the city was destroyed and the rest was pretty happy about it.

Following the heroic but sort of misguided Kaiju battle, pilot was reluctantly promoted to General by some motherfucker with a bunch of medals on his chest.

"The thing is," says a homeless guy we spoke to, "She'd be a lot better at piloting giant robots if she hugged a puppy once in a while. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: Is probably a fucking maniac.