momomomocide is currently piloting FESTERING HOLLYWOOD with evilzug
FESTERING HOLLYWOOD's special combat abilities are known to include:
Buttered Groin Nippletwister of Desperation
Inefficient Cricket Bat Formation
DOSSIER: Primary function is is to attack Kaiju and supply much-needed repair services to other Jaegers. May be vulnerable to melancholy. We can safely say that one of its most famous moments of the war occured during Operation Magical Hogwarts when the pilots sacrificed two or three leading scientists in order to save this one guy nobody even likes. One rumored drawback of this Jaeger type is that it tends to cause incurable cancer every so often. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are fun-loving and nobody questions their dedication to oral hygiene.
MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Raised by wolves in the idyllic slums of Seattle. Profoundly affected by the conversion to Islam of grandmother because it was her idea in the first place. At an early age, showed great aptitude for not being a total fuck-up, but struggled with with watercolor painting. It was at the age of 19 that she discovered bathing. Each enchanting day was a step away from the triumph that her parents expected from her.
Found herself in a secret Buddhist temple where she studied hand-to-hand combat, where it soon became apparent that she was literally drunk the entire time, twenty-four hours a day.
She soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking her way into a Jaeger, her debut fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked affair despite annoying the shit out of her best friend. This was achieved despite seriously fucking up a Kaiju with some of the weakest bullshit attacks ever seen by mankind.
Deciding to rest on her laurels, she re-dedicated herself to attempting to pilot her Jaeger sober and are kicking ass at that, as we all expected.
So-called experts have described her Jaeger tactics style as "amateur weaksauce", while people who actually know what she's talking about have described it as "brutally effecient" and "some of the coolest stuff since Mike Tyson ravaged my ass."
Psyche eval recommendation: Can excel with a little love.
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