Carmila

Age: 38
Gender: F
Location: Anaheim, CA

Joined: 14 years ago on 02/19/04
Last Visit: 10 months ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Carmila is currently piloting ERECTION HAMBURGER with djranmas

ERECTION HAMBURGER's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Groin-Mounted Shield
• Fist-Mounted Club

DOSSIER: Job is is to pulverize Kaiju and supply perilous massages to civilians. Classified rumors indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Stalwart Rumble, a plan to use a game-changing, ancient boner pill to end struggle against Kaiju. As we all know historians will eventually salute the pilots for their role in Operation Unyielding Rumble, during which most of Topeka was destroyed in an effort to figure out what all of the buttons on the Jaeger's control panel actually did. The only question facing these pilots, who are bitter ex-lovers, is this: can they crush the Kaiju without pulverizing each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Robot family provided a strict diet of organic vegetables and beatings. Not really aroused by the painful goiter loss of father at one really bizarre county fair. At an early age, showed much promise for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with not slaughtering literally every living being she encountered. It was at the age of 19 that she reached puberty. Decided to spend the next several years masturbating in a filthy toy store. Each sexual fuck-up was a step closer to becoming a true sexual being, and was all that her heart yearned for.

Actually managed to finally make make a friend despite a total lack of bowel control because people figured the world was ending anyway, so who cares?.

During one drunken night, she stole a Jaeger and her debut fight against a kaiju was a delightful success despite annoying the shit out of a bunch of innocent bystanders. Classified intel indicates most of the town was destroyed and the rest was covered in sexual fluids.

In the aftermath of the grueling clusterfuck, pilot was immediately promoted to Corporal by that guy nobody really talked to but apparently had the power to promote people, so whatever.

Experts have described her combat aptitude style as "embarrassing bullshit", while mostly everybody else has described it as "devastatingly effective" and "some of the toughest Jaeger piloting since my dad sexually dominated nipples everywhere."

Psyche eval recommendation: Is probably a fucking maniac.