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betaTester

Buster Machine No. 1323
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About betaTester

Age: 38
Gender: M
Location: Flushing, NY

Joined: 16 years ago on 02/19/04
Last Visit: 13 years ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

Contact InformationContact information, such as a Member's e-mail and instant messenger information, can only be viewed by other Members! If you're already a Member, use the login form on the left side of the screen, or click here to log in. If you're not a Member yet, why not join us and be a part of the fun?
Did You Know?
  • You've viewed their Profile 961 times
Would You Hit It? Would betaTester?

[current user isn't logged in]

Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“I live to work and I like pornography.”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“Former student.”

What's your dream job?

“To be a part of a covert organization dedicated to the advancement of technology and bringing order to this world.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“I am searching for fans of bukkake to exchange our thoughts and possibly share data for enlightenment.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“It is acceptable.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Jaeger Assignment

betaTester is currently piloting HOTDOG SUPERNOVA with KeurBlitz

HOTDOG SUPERNOVA's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Elbow-Mounted Beam
  • Drunken Needle

DOSSIER: Avoids direct combat and prefers to support friendly forces by upgrading their defensive capabilities. Classified scuttlebutt indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Highway Magical, a plan to use a game-changing, ancient aggressive handjob technique to ensure the designated hitter rule. Cannot be damaged by fire-based Kaiju. During the Battle Of Citizen's Bank Park, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to protect their friends while simultaneously displaying outstanding oral hygiene. Often, media pundits have heaped praise upon the pilots' general cleanliness. One thing is certain: these pilots are drunken and have an unequaled ability to fingerbang some Kaiju genitals.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Loving family provided a strict diet of old martial arts movies and gin. Life threw a fucking curveball when nipples were fellated by an evil warlord. It was at the age of 23 that he swore revenge. As time progressed, he mastered the techniques of sexually transmitted diseases. Each withering day was a step closer to the sensitive touching that his heart yearned for.

Played first base for the Mets despite refusing to talk about anything besides collecting Pokemon because of his immense determination.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his debut fight against a kaiju was a fucked-up failure despite infuriating his copilot. Classified intel indicates most of the town was saved and the rest was full of ungrateful assholes.

Refusing to finally show a regard for common sense or even reality itself, he re-dedicated himself to curing AIDS and as usual, is really shitting the bed.

"Listen up, rookie, you can study the training videos all day long," says one commanding officer. "But when you're actually out there fighting, and you're completely drunk you better forget everything you learned and adapt to the fucked-up situation at hand. If you don't, basically everybody is going to die. And trust me, this is one pilot who has mastered that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Just needs cuddling.

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