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Spiral Knight

Buster Machine No. 13267
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About Spiral Knight

Age: 31
Gender: M
Location: Hull, MA

Joined: 10 years ago on 10/08/07
Last Visit: 4 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

Public Photos
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Did You Know?
  • You've viewed their Profile 1727 times
Would You Hit It? Would Spiral Knight?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Don't tell me what to do.”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

What do you do for fun?

“Think about how rad Dinosaur wizards must have been.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I work in a medical industrial Lab.”

What's your dream job?

“My dream job is to be paid to punch Blue whales in their big dumb faces, for science.”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“Due, to a dumb move on my part, I ended up giving a sports psychology class a martial arts lesson, in which half way through my pants exploded... I then continued the class without the front of my Gi pants... Awkward, no?”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?


What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Here to make friends only”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Someone with a pulse. ”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“How much distance must there be for a relationship to be long-distance?”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Anything made by Satoshi Kon, ever.”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Ska. Also just good music in general. Mostly ska.”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“Reading manga erryday.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“I always make my way up to PAX EAST. ”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Right now I'm playing LOL, pokemon, Black ops 2, and borderlands 2.”

Steam Nickname


XBox Live! Gamertag

“Secret Spud”

Other Online Gaming Info

“league of legends (secret spud)”

Jaeger Assignment

Spiral Knight is currently piloting LUMBERJACK PERIL with mattlee

LUMBERJACK PERIL's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Penis-Mounted Cutlass
  • Untamed Butt Chop

DOSSIER: Role is is to supply helpful counseling services to basically anybody who asks, even during the heartbreak of undercover brawls. Cannot be damaged by sensitive attacks. Sometimes, experienced Jaeger pilots have expressed concern over the pilots' ability to chug a six-pack. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are heroic and have one purpose, which is to fingerbang some Kaiju brains.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Homeless family provided a strict diet of lima beans and tough love. Life threw a fucking curveball when nipples were eaten by his little brother. It was at the age of 23 that he reached puberty. Spent the next several years training his guts out in a hidden warehouse. Each surpising yeast infection was a step away from the sensitive touching that that his sense of honor demanded.

Was accepted to Harvard despite being completely blind because of having nothing better to do.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his debut fight against a kaiju was a rousing triumph despite "accidentally" killing everybody in the Western Hemisphere. This was achieved despite seriously fucking up a Kaiju with an unexplained fondness for show tunes.

Refusing to listen to everybody else for a change, he dedicated himself to becoming even more of a badass and and is, frankly, not having a lot of success.

So-called experts have described his sensual kissing style as "weak-ass weaksauce", while people who actually know what he's talking about have described it as "brutally effecient" and "some of the coolest Jaeger piloting since my dad invaded nipples everywhere."

Psyche eval recommendation: Can excel with a little love.

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