mheart

Age: 28
Gender: F
Location: Seattle, WA

Joined: 11 years ago on 02/19/04
Last Visit: 3 days ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

• You've viewed their Profile 20633 times

[current user isn't logged in]

mheart is currently piloting FREEDOM BASTARD with dokool

FREEDOM BASTARD's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Steamy Baseball Bat
• Mustache-Mounted Flamethrower

DOSSIER: Likes to help civilians by improving their offensive power. Impervious to party drugs. Certainly that one of its most infamous moments of the war occured during Operation Final Rimjob when the pilots sacrificed many abortion clinics in order to save this one guy who turned out to not even really be that important. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are smoking hot and like nothing better than to piss all over some Kaiju reproductive organs.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a sexy robot. Father was the kind of guy who didn't merely shit the bed - he rolled around in it as well.. At an early age, showed much promise for being able to walk in a straight line, but struggled with with bubble farts. It was at the age of 5 that she had a sex change. Each withering beat-down was a step closer to being less of an asshole that her parents expected from her.

Schooled by the school of life where she studied economics, where it soon became apparent that she was the type of person that never gets invited to parties.

During one drunken night, she stole a Jaeger and her first fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent affair despite annoying the shit out of Whoopi Goldberg. Classified intel indicates most of the town was saved and the rest was burned to the ground.

Following the touching Kaiju battle, pilot was angrily promoted to General by that guy nobody really talked to but apparently had the power to promote people, so whatever.

Experts have described her combat aptitude style as "second-rate weaksauce", while mostly everybody else has described it as "brutally effecient" and "some of the coolest Jaeger piloting since Arnold Schwartzeneggar sexually dominated most of my hometown."

Psyche eval recommendation: Promote immediately.