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Buster Machine No. 1339
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About KeurBlitz

Age: 35
Gender: F
Location: Flushing, 11355

Joined: 16 years ago on 02/19/04
Last Visit: 14 years ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

Contact InformationContact information, such as a Member's e-mail and instant messenger information, can only be viewed by other Members! If you're already a Member, use the login form on the left side of the screen, or click here to log in. If you're not a Member yet, why not join us and be a part of the fun?
Did You Know?
  • You've viewed their Profile 2787 times
Would You Hit It? Would KeurBlitz?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I'm a computer science major... yeah.. I'm pretty much doomed”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?


Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“NARUTO! (anime&manga), FAKE manga, X-Day, Battle Athletes... etc,.”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Ikaruga ^____^ Naruto, Viewtiful Joe, old-school Mario, duck hunt, Gran Turismo And Most Importantly: DDR ”

Jaeger Assignment

KeurBlitz is currently piloting HOTDOG SUPERNOVA with betaTester

HOTDOG SUPERNOVA's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Elbow-Mounted Beam
  • Drunken Needle

DOSSIER: Avoids direct combat and prefers to support friendly forces by upgrading their defensive capabilities. Classified scuttlebutt indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Highway Magical, a plan to use a game-changing, ancient aggressive handjob technique to ensure the designated hitter rule. Cannot be damaged by fire-based Kaiju. During the Battle Of Citizen's Bank Park, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to protect their friends while simultaneously displaying outstanding oral hygiene. Often, media pundits have heaped praise upon the pilots' general cleanliness. One thing is certain: these pilots are drunken and have an unequaled ability to fingerbang some Kaiju genitals.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Parented by robots in the idyllic slums of Pittsburgh. Not really devastated by the cyborg conversion of family dog because it was her idea in the first place. At an early age, showed no promise for not being a total fuck-up, but struggled with with chapped nipples. It was at the age of 23 that she dedicated herself to vengeance. Soon, she learned the techniques of drinking. Each enchanting moment was a step toward the sensitive touching that that her sense of honor demanded.

Unlocked her inner unicorn at Oxford where she studied Eastern religion, where it soon became apparent that she was the type of person that never gets invited to parties.

During one drunken night, she stole a Jaeger and her debut fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent triumph despite "accidentally" killing the old lady down the block. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju that had pretty much no fucking clue at all.

Following the touching Kaiju battle, pilot was immediately promoted to potato peeler, first class by pretty much the only other person that was still alive.

Haters have described her robot piloting style as "weak-ass dick-slapping", while people who actually know what she's talking about have described it as "the kind of thing you jack off to" and "some of the most heroic mayhem since Godzilla invaded nipples everywhere."

Psyche eval recommendation: Will perform if given enough gummi bears.

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