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Buster Machine No. 1350
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About sakana_hime

Age: 36
Gender: F
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Joined: 18 years ago on 02/19/04
Last Visit: 8 years ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Jaeger Assignment

sakana_hime is currently piloting RAINBOW COWBOY with Barney Stinson

RAINBOW COWBOY's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Groin-Mounted Cutlass
  • Breathtaking Hockey Stick

DOSSIER: Role is is to supply much-needed blowjobs to other Jaegers, even during the frenzy of desperate brawls. Impervious to emotions. Perhaps that one of its most famous moments of the war occured during Operation Erotic Derelict when the pilots sacrificed countless abortion clinics in order to save a small amount of time. In the past, media pundits have heaped praise upon the pilots' general cleanliness. One thing is certain: these pilots are admirable and nobody questions their dedication to choice of personal grooming habits.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Adopted by loving parents in the dangerous foothills of an average American small town. Life threw a fucking curveball when friends were seduced by ninjas. It was at the age of 5 that she swore revenge. Reluctantly spent the next several years masturbating in a seriously shady homeless shelter. Each withering moment was a step closer to being less of an asshole that that her sense of honor demanded.

Mentored by the greatest Jaeger pilot of all time despite excessive body odor because she was the one foretold by the prophecy. With a fighting style that combined the aroma of a drunken sailor with sizzling passion, termed "Elegant Hulk Style", she soon gained the sensitive touchings of nudists.

During one drunken night, she stole a Jaeger and her debut fight against a kaiju was a fucked-up crowd-pleaser despite "accidentally" killing a bunch of nerds. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju that had absolutely zero friends.

Following the heroic but sort of misguided clusterfuck, pilot was reluctantly promoted to General by the President of what remained of the world.

"The thing is," says a classmate, "She'd be a lot better at fucking up some fucking Kaiju if she stopped being an asshole. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs copious amounts of coddling.

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