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Corey Hart

Buster Machine No. 1356
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About Corey Hart

Age: 35
Gender: F
Location: Yorba Linda, CA

Joined: 17 years ago on 02/19/04
Last Visit: 5 years ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Jaeger Assignment

Corey Hart is currently piloting RACER RACER with Slade xTekno

RACER RACER's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Oozing Stomp
  • Raging Bodycheck of Justice

DOSSIER: Likes to help basically anybody who asks by fortifying their defensive power. Classified whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Unyielding Sword, a plan to use a fucked-up, ancient doomsday device to ensure this war for human survival. Impervious to emotions. We can safely say that one of its most infamous moments of the war occured during Operation Heroic Magical when the pilots sacrificed several hundred psychopaths in order to save several terabytes of pornography. In the past, commanding officers have wished that the pilots would improve their oral hygiene. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are admirable and nobody questions their dedication to intensity.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a loving parent. Father was one hell of a guy -- had the kind of pecs you'd kill for. Somewhat aroused by the death of her favorite hobo lover while masturbating. At an early age, showed no promise for not being a total fuck-up, but struggled with with watercolor painting. It was at the age of 23 that she dedicated herself to vengeance. Reluctantly spent the next several seconds fighting for survival in a seriously shady waterfall. Each joyful lesson was a step toward the ultimate revenge that that her sense of honor demanded.

Found herself at Oxford where she studied her own genitals for hours on end, where it soon became apparent that she was a once-in-a-lifetime talent. With a fighting style that combined the spirit of a seasoned expert with never-before-seen power, termed "Invincible Strapping Fieldhand Style", she soon gained the sensitive touchings of commanders.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her debut fight against a kaiju was a rousing triumph despite killing the old lady down the block. Due to her actions, most of the town was saved and the rest was burned to the ground.

Deciding to finally show a regard for common sense or even reality itself, she re-dedicated herself to attempting to pilot her Jaeger sober and and is, frankly, not having a lot of success.

"The thing is," says her commander, "She'd be a lot worse at everything if she started touching herself a little more. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: Promote immediately.

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