Oshi

Age: 35
Gender: M
Location: Newtown Square, PA

Joined: 16 years ago on 02/19/04
Last Visit: 2 months ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Oshi is currently piloting COMET ERECTION with Exploding Alex

COMET ERECTION's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Satisfaction Stomp
• Divine Gauntlet

DOSSIER: Role is is to confuse Kaiju and supply tricky blowjobs to other Jaeger pilots. Top-secret whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Rainbow Freedom, a plan to use an unbelievable, truly astonishing doomsday device to ensure psoraisis. During the Battle Of Paris, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to remain calm while simultaneously displaying outstanding alcohol tolerance. At times, homeless men have envied the pilots' choice of personal grooming habits. The only question facing these pilots, who are bitter ex-lovers, is this: can they fingerbang the Kaiju without fingerbanging each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Adopted by robots in the idyllic swamps of an average American small town. Deeply devastated by the cyborg conversion of father at one really bizarre county fair. At an early age, showed no promise for being able to walk in a straight line, but struggled with with watercolor painting. It was at the age of 5 that he had his entire body replaced by cyborg components. Spent the next several years getting his ass kicked in a seriously shady robot repair shop. Each joyful day was a step away from the true mastery of self-control that that his sense of honor demanded.

Became high school valedictorian despite being addicted to blowjobs because he was the one foretold by the prophecy.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his first fight against a kaiju was a splendid crowd-pleaser despite annoying the shit out of a bunch of nerds. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju with unmatched power and ferocity.

In the aftermath of the heroic but sort of misguided clusterfuck, pilot was immediately promoted to Chief Asskicker by his first grade teacher.

"Listen up, rookie, you can read the textbooks all day long," says one homeless guy on a park bench. "But when you're actually out there fighting, and half of your robot is on fire and the other half is severely damaged you better forget everything Mommy said and react to the life or death situation even if you're pretty sure you're hallucinating. If you don't, you might as well be playing for the Mets. Trust me, this is one pilot who totally gets that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Could save us all someday.