*Jibrielle* is currently piloting TINGLE RUFFIAN with BLAM!
TINGLE RUFFIAN's special combat abilities are known to include:
Labia-Mounted Knuckles
Billion-Dropkick Flood Whirlwind
DOSSIER: Role is is to insult Kaiju and supply tricky blowjobs to civilians. Top-secret whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Heroic Freedom, a plan to use a fucked-up, ancient violent sexual onslaught to end this war for human survival. As we all know that one of its most famous moments of the war occured during Operation Heroic Diddler when the pilots sacrificed several hundred homeless drunks in order to save some dude's record collection. The only question facing these pilots, who have been friends since childhood, is this: can they break the Kaiju without slaughtering each other first?
MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a travelling Gypsy. Father was a homeless man. Profoundly devastated by the painful goiter loss of grandmother while masturbating. At an early age, showed great aptitude for playing the piano, but struggled with with basically everything else. It was at the age of 19 that she swore revenge. As time progressed, she learned the secrets of Hokuto Shinken. Each erotic lesson was a step away from the triumph that that her sense of honor demanded.
Unlocked her inner unicorn on the streets where she studied astrophysics, where it soon became apparent that she was literally drunk the entire time, twenty-four hours a day.
She soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking her way into a Jaeger, her first fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent affair despite "accidentally" killing everybody in the Western Hemisphere. Thanks to her efforts, most of the town was saved and the rest was full of ungrateful assholes.
When the dust settled after the heroic but sort of misguided battle, pilot was immediately promoted to the newly-created title of Lord Not-To-Be-Fucked-With by by popular demand.
"Listen up, rookie, you can beat your dick to YouTube videos all you want," says one commanding officer. "But when you're actually out there trying to save the Earth, and somebody offers you a beer you better forget everything you think you know and adapt to the life or death situation no matter how high you are. If you don't, you're fucked. Trust me, this is one pilot who understands that."
Psyche eval recommendation: Needs more nipple touching.
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