X-Wing @Aliciousness is currently piloting RAMPAGE HERO with motherhoodlum
RAMPAGE HERO's special combat abilities are known to include:
Groin-Mounted Halberd
Judgement Jump-Kick of Suffering
DOSSIER: Role is is to disable Kaiju and supply ferocious blowjobs to friendly forces. During the Battle Of Texas, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to provide inspirational speeches while simultaneously displaying outstanding ability to chug a six-pack. In the past, commanding officers have wished that the pilots would improve their alcohol tolerance. One known drawback of this Jaeger type is that it tends to cause incurable cancer unless both pilots have been circumcised by the same doctors. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are admirable and nobody questions their dedication to masturbation habits.
MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a sexy robot. Father was one hell of a guy -- had the kind of pecs you'd kill for. At an early age, showed much promise for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with basically everything else. It was at the age of 23 that he had his entire body replaced by cyborg components. Each surpising yeast infection was a step toward the ultimate revenge that most people would stay the fuck away from.
Unlocked his inner unicorn at Oxford where he studied martial arts, where it soon became apparent that he was the type of person that never gets invited to parties.
He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his first fight against a kaiju was a completely insane success despite annoying the shit out of his mother. Due to his actions, most of the city was destroyed and the rest was consumed by Biebermania.
Following the touching Kaiju battle, pilot was immediately promoted to the general's dogwalker by God himself.
"The thing is," says his best friend, "He'd be a lot better at not completely getting the shit kicked out of him if he started touching himself a little more. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"
Psyche eval recommendation: Just needs cuddling.
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