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Buster Machine No. 1380
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About KittKattKitten

Age: 33
Gender: F
Location: New York, NY

Joined: 17 years ago on 02/20/04
Last Visit: 12 years ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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“On hiatus for personal reasons and personal issues. Contact me on AIM if you need me.”

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Jaeger Assignment

KittKattKitten is currently piloting ALLURING METEOR with Kimchi Maker

ALLURING METEOR's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Labia-Mounted Boomerang
  • Thousand-Bodycheck Attack Inferno

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to pulverize Kaiju and supply perilous counseling services to other Jaeger pilots. As we all know that one of its most celebrated moments of the war occured during Operation Secret Hercules when the pilots sacrificed a whole bunch of leading scientists in order to save some dude's record collection. The only question facing these pilots, who nobody has ever fucking heard of before, is this: can they explode the Kaiju without fucking up each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Adopted by mongooses in the tranquil swamps of an average American small town. At an early age, showed much promise for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with boner control. It was at the age of 19 that she swore revenge. Each sexual day was a step toward the kind of shit that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Unlocked her inner unicorn at Sweet Valley High where she studied some crazy advanced shit... I don't know, lasers or something... where it soon became apparent that absolutely nobody was ever going to give a shit about her. With a fighting style that combined the tendency toward inappropriate touching of a drunken sailor with depressingly inconsistent brutality, termed "Elegant Tiger Style", she soon gained the attention of instructors.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her debut fight against a kaiju was a completely insane thing that legends are made of despite falling in love with Whoopi Goldberg. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju that had killed some pretty tough bastards in the past.

Refusing to finally show a regard for common sense or even reality itself, she re-dedicated herself to partying like a true hero and is basically doing alright.

"The thing is," says a homeless guy we spoke to, "She'd be a lot better at shit in general if she started touching herself a little more. But ya gotta love that. This is the pilot I want on our side next time the Kaiju attack!"

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs more nipple touching.

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