FluffyGreenMan

Age: 35
Gender: M
Location: Irvine, CA

Joined: 12 years ago on 12/01/07
Last Visit: 5 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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FluffyGreenMan is currently piloting DEPRAVED DYNAMITE with anonsequitur

DEPRAVED DYNAMITE's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Smothering Cutlass
• Elongated Ear Haymaker of Desperation

DOSSIER: Avoids direct combat and prefers to support other Jaeger pilots by multiplying their offensive power. Perhaps historians will eventually forgive the pilots for their role in Operation Magical Magical, during which most of Antarctica was destroyed in an effort to end this war. The only question facing these pilots, who have been friends since childhood, is this: can they crush the Kaiju without speed-humping each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a sexy robot. Father was deeply in love with her. At an early age, showed no promise for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with drinking more than two or three beers without acting like an asshole.. It was at the age of 23 that he discovered bathing. Decided to spend the next several hours fighting for survival in a seriously shady basement. Each surpising lesson was a step closer to the true mastery of self-control that that his sense of honor demanded.

Truly blossomed in a den of thieves where he studied Eastern religion, where it soon became apparent that he was literally drunk the entire time, twenty-four hours a day. With a fighting style that combined the aroma of a scampering ferret with sizzling brutality, termed "Ferocious Elephant Style", he soon gained the attention of perverts all over the world.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his debut fight against a kaiju was a completely insane thing that legends are made of despite falling in love with Whoopi Goldberg. Due to his actions, most of the city was destroyed and the rest was covered in blood.

Following the heroic but sort of misguided clusterfuck, pilot was reluctantly promoted to bat boy for the Mets by some motherfucker with a bunch of medals on his chest.

"Listen up, rookie, you can beat your dick to YouTube videos all you want," says one commanding officer. "But when you're actually out there fighting, and you have a dick in your mouth you better forget everything Mommy said and react to the new situation even if you're pretty sure you're hallucinating. If you don't, somebody's going to get pregnant. Believe me, this is one soldier who totally gets that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Could save us all someday.