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usarnaem

Buster Machine No. 14214
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About usarnaem

Age: 35
Gender: M
Location: Marietta, GA

Joined: 11 years ago on 12/15/07
Last Visit: 5 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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  • You've viewed their Profile 3466 times
Would You Hit It? Would usarnaem?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“OH GOD GET THESE BEES OUT OF MY HEAD”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

What do you do for fun?

“watch paint dry, count grass clippings”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“our software breaks all the time and it keeps me employed”

What's your dream job?

“one that doesn't suck”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“i am not funny at all”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“I'm here to stalk John Booty”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“I don't care, don't be a jackass ok?”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“no”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Genki Crisis, Musashi Gundo, Eiken, Night Shift Nurses, Urotsukidoji”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“beeps and boops”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“Manime, Huffling”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“anime weekend atlanta, dragon*con, bootycon, and maybe katsucon”

Into games? List your favorites!

“as long as its not a sports or racing game its cool”

XBox Live! Gamertag

“CynicalMars”

Other Online Gaming Info

“http://steamcommunity.com/id/Fuckshoes Team Fortress 2, L4D2, Borderlands, Minecraft”

Jaeger Assignment

usarnaem is currently piloting BELLOWING MAJESTY with Mirah Hara

BELLOWING MAJESTY's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Laser Missiles Overload
  • Foot-Mounted Cannon

DOSSIER: Primary function is to supply intense offense intended to insult the Kaiju by fucking up their genitals. Perhaps that one of its most infamous moments of the war occured during Operation Defiant Derelict when the pilots sacrificed countless homeless drunks in order to save a small amount of time. Sometimes, experienced Jaeger pilots have heaped praise upon the pilots' choice of personal grooming habits. Everybody agrees: these pilots are terrifying and nobody questions their dedication to general cleanliness.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Homeless family provided a strict diet of love and religion. At an early age, showed no promise for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with drinking more than two or three beers without acting like an asshole.. It was at the age of 19 that he had a sex change. Reluctantly spent the next several hours fucking people up in a secret youth hostel. Each enchanting day was a step toward becoming a true sexual being, and was all that that his sense of honor demanded.

Befriended a troupe of playful cats despite being completely blind because he was the one foretold by the prophecy. With a fighting style that combined the gassy outbursts of a scampering ferret with senseless power, termed "Invincible Hulk Style", he soon gained the attention of commanders.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his first fight against a kaiju was a rousing failure despite "accidentally" killing a bunch of nerds. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju that had killed some pretty tough bastards in the past.

In the aftermath of the grueling battle, pilot was angrily promoted to potato peeler, first class by God himself.

"The thing is," says a homeless guy we spoke to, "He'd be a lot worse at saving the Earth if he took my dick out of his mouth once in a while. Ah, what are you going to do? Life is crazy like that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs copious amounts of coddling.

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