XxLuluxX is currently piloting ERUPTION FACEPUNCHER with TornTsukasa
ERUPTION FACEPUNCHER's special combat abilities are known to include:
Elbow-Mounted Hammer Storm
Joyfulness Stomp of Devastation
DOSSIER: Job is is to upset Kaiju and supply perilous repair services to soldiers. Impervious to harsh criticism. During the Battle Of Topeka, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to perform handjobs while simultaneously displaying outstanding dedication to asskicking. Frequently, the pilots' parents have envied the pilots' ability to chug a six-pack. One rumored drawback of this Jaeger type is that it may cause incurable cancer every so often. The only question facing these pilots, who are bitter ex-lovers, is this: can they take a huge shit on the Kaiju without pulverizing each other first?
MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Raised by loving parents in the affluent suburbs of Transylvania. Life was transformed permanently when imaginary friends were eaten by ninjas. It was at the age of 6 that he stopped being a huge pussy. Decided to spend the next several years masturbating in a filthy gay bath house. Each grueling fuck-up was a step closer to the kind of shit that most people would stay the fuck away from.
Slept with a village of hobos despite excessive body odor because his mother forced him to.
He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his debut fight against a kaiju was a splendid success despite killing everybody in the Western Hemisphere. According to survivors, most of the city was saved and the rest was consumed by Biebermania.
Deciding to get a clue, he dedicated himself to essentially being a huge pussy and as usual, is really shitting the bed.
"The thing is," says his best friend, "He'd be a lot worse at saving the Earth if he stopped being an asshole. But ya gotta love that. This is the pilot I want on our side next time the Kaiju attack!"
Psyche eval recommendation: May be unfit for duty.
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