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Buster Machine No. 1425
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Age: 39
Gender: M
Location: Royersford, PA

Joined: 17 years ago on 02/22/04
Last Visit: 4 years ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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  • You've viewed their Profile 14051 times
Would You Hit It? Would LORD AWESOME?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“No means meow!”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

What do you do for fun?

“Cooking and otherwise learning about food, mediocre karaoke, exploring the world of beer, and yelling at my cats.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“You'll either find me stacking pineapples and yelling about ordering or slinging food and yelling about orders not being up.”

What's your dream job?

“Whatever pays me for doing stuff I at least moderately like rather than for being irritated all the time. Or competitive eating.”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I met Jeph Jacques (Questionable Content) and bought a Marten's unicorn shirt from him without realizing I was wearing a tee with two unicorns in the midst of passion on it at the time. "It's obvious you really like unicorns."”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?


What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“I'm here to stalk John Booty”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Take me to the pretty ones.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“Burned pretty bad by one in the past, but I'm a patient man. They happen sometimes.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Ranma 1/2, Gunbuster/Daibuster, Noein, Ergo Proxy, the various .hack projects, Honey & Clover”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Going through a lot of my iTunes backlog. When given a choice, been getting dancey.”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“I write shit about video games on the Destructoid cblogs. Sometimes they get pushed to the main page. I'm not sure why they do that to themselves.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“BootyCon and Dragon*Con have dibs on my vacation weeks.”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Zelda, .hack//whatever, rhythm/music games, Katamari Damacy, the Halos and junk”

Steam Nickname


XBox Live! Gamertag


Other Online Gaming Info

“Bunch of Xbox Live stuff, mostly Reach. Got a bunch of stuff on Steam now that I have a PC that can run things, so hit me up there. Oh, and the World Of Tanks beta.”

Jaeger Assignment

LORD AWESOME is currently piloting ELONGATED PATRIOT with Aeris

ELONGATED PATRIOT's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Courageous Arm Pound of Judgement
  • Justice Haymaker

DOSSIER: Role is is to destroy Kaiju and supply courageous blowjobs to basically anybody who asks. Sometimes, homeless men have expressed concern over the pilots' intensity. The only question facing these pilots, who nobody has ever fucking heard of before, is this: can they fingerbang the Kaiju without fucking up each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Raised by wolves in the idyllic foothills of Seattle. At an early age, showed great aptitude for playing the piano, but struggled with with basically everything else. It was at the age of 6 that he reached puberty. Each enchanting moment was a step closer to the kind of shit that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Schooled at Sweet Valley High where he studied Eastern religion, where it soon became apparent that absolutely nobody was ever going to give a shit about him.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his debut fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked affair despite infuriating Whoopi Goldberg. Classified intel indicates most of the city was destroyed and the rest was burned to the ground.

Following the grueling clusterfuck, pilot was angrily promoted to potato peeler, first class by his first grade teacher.

Experts have described his combat aptitude style as "embarrassing weaksauce", while others have described it as "seriously cool" and "some of the best Jaeger piloting since Bruce Lee ravaged Barcelona."

Psyche eval recommendation: May be unfit for duty.

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