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BLAM!

Buster Machine No. 1428
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About BLAM!

Age: 37
Gender: M
Location: Springfield, NJ

Joined: 10 years ago on 02/22/04
Last Visit: 3 days ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Eat food, drink booze, anime, video games and violence! If you enjoy any of these, then we might just get along.”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

What do you do for fun?

“Besides video games, and anime i usually like to drink with friends and visit cons. I also love to EAT and SLEEP!”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“Professional man of Leisure and a ninja.”

What's your dream job?

“To be a connoisseur of Ham, or just make money with my seductive voice.”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I slept with John Booty and bought him drinks....and he never made me a mod.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Here to make friends only”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Just would like to meet new people to chat with online or meet and hang out.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“It's masochistic.... ”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Azumanga Daioh, FLCL, Rahxephon, Ghost in the Shell, Kenshin, Trigun, Cowboy Bebop, GTO, Last Exile, Record of Lodoss Wars, Blade of the Immortal, Samurai Champloo, School Rumble, Nana, etc ”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Mainly into stuff like Radiohead, NIN, Tool, A Perfect Circle, Coldplay, Depeche Mode...but i listen to a little of everything else.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“MAGFEST 2014”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Most games from Blizzard and Lucas arts, Square, capcom...Generally fighting games,action and some rpgs like Final Fantasy series. Current favorites is Mass Effect and God of War 2”

Jaeger Assignment

BLAM! is currently piloting TINGLE RUFFIAN with *Jibrielle*

TINGLE RUFFIAN's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Labia-Mounted Knuckles
  • Billion-Dropkick Flood Whirlwind

DOSSIER: Role is is to insult Kaiju and supply tricky blowjobs to civilians. Top-secret whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Heroic Freedom, a plan to use a fucked-up, ancient violent sexual onslaught to end this war for human survival. As we all know that one of its most famous moments of the war occured during Operation Heroic Diddler when the pilots sacrificed several hundred homeless drunks in order to save some dude's record collection. The only question facing these pilots, who have been friends since childhood, is this: can they break the Kaiju without slaughtering each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Loving family provided a strict diet of lima beans and comic books. Greatly devastated by the death of father because it was his idea in the first place. At an early age, showed much promise for not being a total fuck-up, but struggled with with drinking more than two or three beers without acting like an asshole. It was at the age of 19 that he dedicated himself to vengeance. Each grueling moment was a step closer to the true mastery of self-control that that his sense of honor demanded.

Schooled by the school of life where he studied whatever the fuck he felt like studying, where it soon became apparent that he was a true genius. With a fighting style that combined the tendency toward inappropriate touching of a scampering ferret with senseless speed, termed "Elegant Monkey Style", he soon gained the praise of nudists.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his first fight against a kaiju was a fucked-up crowd-pleaser despite infuriating basically everybody. This was achieved despite seriously fucking up a Kaiju that had absolutely zero friends.

Deciding to learn a lesson, he re-dedicated himself to drinking a lot and as usual, is really shitting the bed.

"You, you can beat your dick to YouTube videos all you want," says one homeless guy on a park bench. "But when you're actually out there partying, and you're completely drunk you better forget everything Mommy said and adapt to the new situation at hand. If you don't, you might as well be playing for the Mets. Trust me, this is one pilot who will never have any clue about that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Promote immediately.

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