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Buster Machine No. 14315
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About Happosai

Age: 56
Gender: M
Location: Clementon, NJ

Joined: 13 years ago on 12/23/07
Last Visit: 11 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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  • You've viewed their Profile 3229 times
Would You Hit It? Would Happosai?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“I'm a stereotypical dirty old man that was told about this site by friends. Sadly, I'm harmless.”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

What do you do for fun?

“Currently my assistant Pinky and I are planning to take over the world.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I'm a supervisor for the Federal Redundancy Department of Redundancy. I'm also a photographer. My FOPS are not of me (this is a good thing, trust me), but rather examples of my work.”

What's your dream job?

“Lingerie Fitter”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“Something funny I own? Well I have several standup comedians chained in my basement, does that count?”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?


What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“I'm just hoping to meet some folks, have a few chats and a few laughs, as long as you're fun to talk to I'm not overly concerned about anything else.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“They make it hard to spoon.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“I'm old so be prepared: Ranma 1/2, Dragonball (but not Z), Ghost in the Shell, and yes; Robotech”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“I'm fairly picky and only listen to music between 20 and 20,000 hertz.”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“I enjoy watching anime, tokusatsu (especially kaiju), and J-Horror. I enjoy photographing cosplay events. I also like most of your basic geek past-times. :)”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“Zenkaikon, every year”

Jaeger Assignment

Happosai is currently piloting SOMBER BASTARD with Shadowhood

SOMBER BASTARD's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Dolphin's Laser
  • Tingle Head Suplex

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to supply courageous counseling services to basically anybody who asks, even during the mayhem of full-force battles. Classified scuttlebutt indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Secret Hercules, a plan to use a game-changing, secret doomsday device to decisively end this war for human survival. Perhaps historians will eventually celebrate the pilots for their role in Operation Highway Nightmare, during which most of Atlanta was destroyed in an effort to blow off some steam. The only question facing these pilots, who have been friends since childhood, is this: can they fingerbang the Kaiju without fucking up each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a famous CEO. Father was a mild-mannered librarian. Life threw a fucking curveball when goldfish were killed by ninjas. It was at the age of 6 that he discovered bathing. Decided to spend the next several years fucking people up in a seriously shady basement. Each enchanting lesson was a step away from the bloody satisfaction that his parents expected from him.

Educated on the streets where he studied Eastern religion, where it soon became apparent that he was a true genius. With a fighting style that combined the spirit of a bull with depressingly inconsistent speed, termed "Ferocious Bastard Style", he soon gained the attention of nudists.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his debut fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent triumph despite "accidentally" killing his copilot. Classified intel indicates most of the town was saved and the rest was burned to the ground.

Following the heroic but sort of misguided Kaiju battle, pilot was angrily promoted to General by the President of what remained of the world.

"The thing is," says a homeless guy we spoke to, "He'd be a lot better at something other than this if he took my dick out of his mouth once in a while. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: Promote immediately.

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